Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Mindless Thoughts...

So, I'm lying awake on my bed this afternoon, after securing the bedroom door with explosives and trip wires to keep Devil Kitty at bay, while I try to take a much needed nap...I'm chewing on those God-awful "TUMS" to try and appease my nauseous stomach. Why DO those things taste so much like sugared chalk anyway?!? Do you suppose the company that manufactures "TUMS" actually think their pretty colored, cylinder-shaped, stomach aids taste GOOD? But I digress...

Anyway...so, I'm lying awake on my bed this afternoon, listening to the sounds of Devil Kitty try to excavate her way under the door and into my private bedroom sanctuary and I'm thinking to myself, "Self. You REALLY need to get some things done around here (the hut) when you're feeling better." And, as I'm lying there staring upward at nothing in particular, my bedroom ceiling comes sharply into view. It looks like this:
My mind begins to whirl into action, recalling painting projects and home improvement projects that have been on my "TODO" list (pronounced "tew doo" LOL) for almost two years...sprucing up my bedroom has only been one of the small projects on this list.

And as I stared at my ceiling with the eyes of a hawk...minus some clarity that MS has robbed me of...I was suddenly reminded of my bedroom ceiling's texture. Yes, my home was built in the 1980's and the ceilings are covered with that dreaded POPCORN texture effect! I am quite certain drywall experts who built homes in the 80's are now probably retired and laughing their arses off how they duped most of America into having this sometimes-laden-with-asbestos-crap sprayed on the interiors of their homes...SOMEBODY should be getting a hearty chuckle out of this because I'm NOT laughing.


The sound of tiny kitty power tools with jackhammer features was faintly distracting me in the background as I lay on my bed, trying to take a nap, and pondered just how difficult painting my bedroom ceiling would be. It would be much more difficult hiring contractors to come in and REMOVE the stuff, since certified asbestos removers would be needed IF my ceilings contained the lung-cancer-producing compound...and even if my movie-theater-popcorn-ceiling DIDN'T have asbestos in it, there would still be a mess of Katrina proportions having it removed.


As the grossly-sugared-lacking-real-flavor "TUMS" settled onto the lining of my Novantrone-stricken gut, I closed my eyes and shut out all thoughts of painting my bedroom ceiling. I took great pleasure in turning over on my side to ignore the potential looming task above me, belched a noxious, acidic "TUMS" gas from my stomach, much like a baby being positioned to burp, and reminded myself I WAS ON VACATION.


The ceiling would wait...besides, it could be another YEAR before I lay down in the middle of the day in my bedroom to nap again!...I AM ON VACATION...

7 comments:

mdmhvonpa said...

There is most likely no asbestos in your ceiling ... fire retardant spray is typically not used in domestic/multi family dwellings unless it is built by the government or built before 1980. Go here: http://www.homeenvy.com/db/4/914.html

Miss Chris said...

MDMHVONPA: You are such a wealth of knowledge. You are definitely the "go-to" guy.

BRAINCHEESE said...

MDMHVONPA:

Yeah...the trouble is the place WAS built in 1981...right on the cusp of asbestos!

But I'll still check out that site, so thanks...O' Knowledgable One. LOL

LD

BRAINCHEESE said...

MISS CHRIS:

I am sorry to inform you of this news...but MDMHVONPA is merely a computer generated action figure!

LD

Peej said...

Ok... first of all do NOT try to paint that ceiling with a brush or roller. An spray gun (you can rent them cheaply enough) is the only way to paint those damn things without taking down half the ceiling... Trust me on this one.

Secondly, if you should choose to remove those miserable little popcorn things it's easy enough to do. You can use a spray bottle to wet the ceiling and a putty knife to remove the offending popcorns. Best put a drop cloth under you because you will make a major mess!

Best of luck!

BRAINCHEESE said...

PEEJ:

Ah, I'll have you know, I DID already paint my popcorn ceiling in my living room with a special sponge roller...this comes from growing up with a father who was a professional painter! Anything can be painted...LOL

LD

Zee said...

I have nothing to say about painting ceilings - I try not to look at mine. :) (I did help my stepfather spray that popcorn crap ONTO a ceiling once. Years ago, before I knew better. He was old enough to have known better, however!)

But the TUMS question: I never eat those things, nor do I take Pepto because they make me feel WORSE. Guaranteed.

Have you tried Maalox? They've got some... errr... yummy-ish flavors in the liquid formulation that, while not *good*, are much more tolerable than the chalk-masquerading-as-medicine that TUMS is. Just a thought - seems to work pretty well for me though I don't take Novantrone so couldn't say for sure what it'll do. :) Your mileage may vary, as they say.