My "issues" about money surely stem from growing up a poor share cropper's daughter...OK, maybe I wasn't a share cropper's daughter, but I DID grow up PWT (poor white trash). We never had a lot of money in our family (and still don't), but we always had the necessities. Nothing extravagant, but basic needs taken care of.
That's why I think it is sooooo difficult for me to spend money on myself in my adulthood. Now don't get me wrong here...I think I am (and I think my friend's would back this statement...or at least you'd BETTER back it! LOL) a very generous person. I don't seem to have any difficulty spending money on OTHER people. I delight in giving gifts or paying for something I think someone else might struggle to afford...it IS just money, after all.
But when it comes to buying MYSELF things (like underwear, clothes, "toys", etc.), I balk...I have convulsions...I become....C-H-E-A-P! Take for instance the current state of my beloved computer printer...
I have had the same printer for almost 10 years...it's been reliable and faithful...I LOVE my computer printer! But lately, I have had to nurse it along, manually feeding paper into it, resetting it, cleaning up after it...after much struggle, I can finally admit my printer has spewed its last ink. But will I go buy another one? Nooooooooooo...because I'm cheap.
There is simply no rationalizing with me about this...I KNOW a new printer can be found for less than a hundred dollars...it's not the money really. It's the idea THIS printer should continue working and I don't really NEED a new printer, do I?!? And here's the pisser to my "cheapdom"...if someone were to GIVE me a new printer, I'd probably give it away to someone ELSE I thought needed it more!!!
So, I'm trying to bite the bullet here to work on this "issue"...I'm trying to figure out what this "core idea" is all about. The best answer I can come up with is that I am CHEAP! In the worst way, too...I short change myself thinking I either "can't afford" (which is really WON'T afford) or don't deserve certain things I think of as luxury.
All I can say is, thank God I don't think of FOOD as a luxury! CHEAP goes out the window when it comes to eating...LOL...