Underneath The Granite Slab...

Today has not been a great day...I'm entitled to ONE every now and then! I've had difficulty getting my body going and my mind seems to have taken a recess break. Oddly, I feel as if I am being held under a giant piece of rock and I'm just not able to wiggle my way free...today...

Perhaps it has been the mourning over the death of my beloved printer...or maybe it is the effect of the cloudy weather we are having here in Seattle this week...I might be coming "down" with something, too...or, last but not least, "maybe" the MS is pushing down on me again. I really, really want to believe it is the weather! LOL

I've begun to notice of late (for about a week really) a serious tightening/spasticity returning in my calves. It bothers me most when I have been idle or sitting for a few minutes, then try to get up and walk again...the pain in my feet/ankles/lower calves is quite sharp. I have begun to hobble as if someone has rammed a rather large cob up my...well, you get the picture! LOL No graphic description needed.

At first, I thought this tightening sensation was the result of my fairly active exercise program, but I don't think it is now. After all, I have been exercising increasingly more and more since the end of May and have not had this tightness before now. The good news is, once I finally GET my legs moving (versus appearing to hobble on poles!), the tightness eases and I return to a fairly "normal" gait...I quote *normal* because I have always appeared to walk like a trucker just out of the cab on a long haul!

I finally broke down and started taking a pinch of Zanaflex (for good measure) throughout the day just to try to ease the pain and loosen my muscles...this appears to help...somewhat. And now I'm wondering if the addition of this medication is what has caused me to feel so "pressed" today? Maybe the drug is messing with my generally jovial mood and trying to hold a good laugh down?!? LOL

I wouldn't be as concerned if I hadn't also suddenly developed a few "other" unusual symptoms...like for instance, my short term memory seems just that...waaaay too short term! What was I talking about? Oh yeah...And my word-finding ability has...well...er...not been found! I feel very tired today also. So much so, I have only left my home briefly and returned to lie around on the couch and read/nap for most of the day...this behavior has NOT been conducive to getting chores completed that need to be done as I return to work tomorrow for the next three days.

I'm generally not one who has "mood swings"...or at least mood swings I would ADMIT to! And today has felt like an "on-the-edge-of-tears" day for no apparent reason. I suppose I can easily justify this by acknowledging my WORRY WART status and feeling concerned I "might" be going into another relapse. But I don't want to think OR believe this could be possible, so I have allowed my denial and ability to self-distract free reign throughout the day...thus the napping and reading a trashy novel.

What I HOPE to be true is that I wake up tomorrow morning and realize I have fretted for not...that I find I really HAVE a rather large cob rammed...well, you know where...and that I have developed a cold or flu. It's a very sad statement to Multiple Sclerosis when one WISHES they have contracted a nasty virus to explain a change in symptoms. LOL

I'll keep you posted...even if it is coming from beneath this ROCK I seem to be trying to crawl out from under!...