As some of you long-standing and not yet completely bored CHEESE readers (or maybe you ARE completely bored and just haven't figured that out yet?!?) know, I have been experiencing difficulty with my vision this past year. No, not optic neuritis difficulty...difficulty READING small print, computer screens, etc. I have delayed seeing my optometrist for several rational reasons (my vision plan wouldn't cover new frames, I wanted to "wait" to see what my vision might do, I couldn't find time in my schedule, etc.) and one completely irrational one...I didn't want to be told the cause of my changing vision was aging!
I finally broke down and made an appointment two weeks ago after losing my glasses TWICE and later locating them on top of my head. I was placing them there whenever needing to read anything up close...for an all-my-life-nearsighted-person, the idea of not being able to read up close was most disturbing. I've ALWAYS been able to see things in front of my face...just not far away. And my right eye is sooooo incredibly near-sighted, I often had to have things smack dab in FRONT of my face to see it, but I still could "see" it with my glasses on. So, my optical appointment went something like this:
EYE DOC: (after twirling, spinning, blowing air in my eyes, and basically blinding me for several minutes) "Well, you are right. Your vision HAS changed substantially since your last exam."
BLIND ONE (me): "I know. I've been putting off coming here for several months. I DID see an opthamologist in April this year because of those headaches (had previously disclosed my "migraine" issues from this spring), but he basically said everything looked fine with my optic nerves. You know, this darned MS can be such a stinker sometimes."
EYE DOC: (looking at me quite puzzled...her face is close enough to mine that I can actually SEE her eyes and quizzical look) "Oh, this isn't MS. This is old age."
BLIND ONE (me): "No, I don't think you heard me correctly. My story is, THIS is MS...and I'm sticking to it!" (me, now looking quite smug)
EYE DOC: (smiling or maybe laughing hysterically...she's moved across the room and I can no longer see her expression) "You can call it what you like, but you need bifocals."
BLIND ONE (me): "That would be MS BIFOCALS, right?" (still with smug look on my face, trying to uphold my inflated attitude)
EYE DOC: "You can call them whatever you like...they're still bifocals."
BLIND ONE (me): (making a leaking air sound as my ego deflates)
So, I now have some very expensive GOGGLES. That's right...these darned "progressive bifocal lenses" feel like I'm wearing goggles. They are great for reading a computer screen, I must admit, but I shan't dare try to WALK more than a step with them on...the FLOOR seems to rise to meet my every step!!! EYE DOC assures me I will eventually "train" my eyes to get used to the new "look"...I hope so. I also hope the dizzy feeling I have gotten during the few hours I have worn them does not trigger my vertigo. If THAT happens, the goggles will be returned to sender and I will be back to my old practice of peering over the top of my mono-lenses or losing them on top of my head.
Man, Multiple Sclerosis can be a beauch sometimes...
and so can getting old, but I'm not admitting that just yet...LOL...