Fire In The (lesion) Hole!...

I swear to you my house was on fire this morning.

I became aware of a hot, radiating heat that was coming from somewhere outside my bedroom. I could smell popcorn popping, which I KNEW was oddly strange for such an early time of the day. I heard voices outside my door and had the distinct impression my neighbor was popping the corn at barely Dawn's crack, which disturbed me more than annoyed me. Suddenly I put two and two together and realized my neighbor had most likely set the house on fire with a popcorn popper that had overheated!

I dashed out of my front door in complete alarm and panic, frantically searching for the source of the heat, and expecting to find flames dancing around my house. All I found was a stack of smoldering debris, but the heat it produced was quite intense. I sensed at any moment the stack would burst into uncontrollable flames and my house would be consumed.

I yelled at the neighbor to find water...ANY source of H20...and to begin dousing the smoldering debris pile while I called 911. Cell phone in hand, I tried repeatedly to dial those three, simple numbers, but my fingers kept hitting the wrong buttons...which only increased my panic more. When I finally managed to hit all three buttons in sequence, I was connected with the local sheriff's department, who promptly put me on *hold*.

"WTF?!" I screamed into the phone. "My effing house is on fire and I need the fire department here stat, you *$*#(@er's!"

I redialed 911 and got an operator who said, "Just a minute"...I could audibly hear her lay the phone down and walk away. The heat from the debris was becoming intolerable as I watched my neighbor fumble with a small garden hose that only produced a trickle of water, creating more steam than defense.

Then, just as I predicted would happen, a burst of flames shot upward into the sky, and I fell backward from the flash of hot, humid air pressing against my chest. **Fortunately...this is where I awakened from my nightmare.**

It took me several minutes this morning to realize there was no actual *fire* dancing around my hut. I was completely disoriented and drenched in sweat. THIS part of my tale is no dream. I had thoroughly soaked my bed sheets in perspiration and my cheeks (on my face, silly!) felt sunburned...later when looking in the mirror, my face DID appear *burnt* in some strange fashion.

I have spent the day home AGAIN from work, recovering from "something" that took over my body in the night. Dizziness abounds as has weakness and fatigue. I thought I was *over* this...I thought my relapse (if that really IS it's name) had packed it's bags and moved on. I was not prepared for this set back...apprehension and melancholy have plagued my thoughts today...so much so, I have been unable to complete the most simple of tasks. Like remembering to take my daily medications (which has happened twice this week and COULD account for some of my disorientation! DOH!).

I don't know where my day has gone...but I clearly recall how it started. And now, as I prepare to drift off into Slumber Land again, I'm hoping whatever smoldering fire might be lying in wait will decide to burn itself out without disrupting my sleep again. Lest I spontaneously combust...