Saturday, August 23, 2008

Blogity, Blog, Blog, Blog...

In the comments of the previous post, Weeble Girl wrote, "Maybe you could write a post explaining to the rest of us Luddites how you manage to create such wonderful and disturbing images..."

Well, first I had to look up the word *Luddite* because I was getting it confused with the word *Hutterite*...and although most *Hutterites* dress consistently in simple means, I don't think there is any uniformed "religion" among the Luddites, except the common belief all technology is evil. Either way, I'm sure on some level, BOTH groups would object to the graphics here on CHEESE. Hehe...

So, let me attempt to *enlighten* those of you interested in exactly HOW I create the graphic images here. FIRST...I develop a DISTURBING topic. OK, maybe the topic/writing itself doesn't initially start out *disturbing* when I begin writing a post or developing ideas for posts here (but the ideas DO come from my brain, so...DISTURBED!). But, that IS how I start out. THEN, I transfer all my ideas to my personal monk in the picture up there, who painstakingly DRAWS everything by hand.

Seriously now, I have an ancient HP Desktop computer that came with two software programs (in 2003, I think). Free is good. I like free programs. But when I started using the programs (self-taught, which I recommend is the BEST way to learn any program...just pound the keys until you either figure it out or break your computer!), I realized one program did certain things (like "smudging") that the other didn' often times, I use BOTH programs to create an image: PRINTSHOP ESSENTIALS 12 and PHOTO IMPRESSIONS 4 (found in ARCSOFTWARE SUITE). I also have an HP PHOTO PRINTER/SCANNER and a NIKON 15 CAMERA that occasionally are used to do my bidding. Really, absolutely NOTHING high tech here.

Almost ALL of the graphics I begin with start out by STEALING something off the Internet...Google Image is a wonderful search engine to find pictures related to my *disturbing* topics. Sometimes, I can even locate graphics (like the NOSE HAIR post) that require no altering at all! I just save the graphic off the Internet, then recapture it into my post from the file where it is stored on my computer.

Graphics like the one in the previous post (I'm a bit disappointed BLINDBEARD has not even COMMENTED yet on that hum?) required me to do an Internet image search for "pile of crap" (hence the *poo*) and "chef's knife" (knife in graphic). In Window's XP, it is very easy to save a graphic/picture from the Internet to a hard drive...all it requires is a right click of the mouse and Bill Gates asks (among several options/questions) "save picture as" just click on the "save picture as", then you are asked to give it a file name and decide WHERE on your hard drive (or disc) you want to save it (destination).

The particularly *disturbing* image in the BLINDBEARD post was created in PRINTSHOP ESSENTIALS 12. There is a command in this program that allows one to "import from disc", and I just bring up the first graphic onto the page I want to work with (the *poo* was first). I delicately (or as delicately as one can with an unsteady right hand and a mouse!) "crop" what I want from the *poo* picture, then bring in the second graphic (knife) to the page. Again, it is just a matter of cropping and positioning (layering) within the program that allows me to create some of my more horrendous graphics. I can choose frames (or boxes with color), text, and a world of other options to create my final product. Then, it's just a matter of saving the final graphic/picture to my hard drive and adding it to the post.

Creating graphics/pictures for CHEESE is one of the really "fun" things about blogging for me...the more *disturbing* the merrier in my book! Often times, what I have to SAY in a post is basic crap...but, because a picture speaks a thousand words, I like to capture the gist of what I am trying to spew via graphics. That way, hopefully neither ONE of us is bored to tears in CHEESELAND.

Now off to check on my hired just can't get good help anymore...sigh. :-)


Spaz Attack said...

Well geeze Cheese Wiz ... no wonder you're a bit bufoddled with your hired Monk. He is obviously a fake, much like a fake Rembrant, because a TRUE MONK has taken a vow of poverty, honesty and chastity -- in other words all his senses, creative or penile, are obviously DEAD. And IF he were honest he certainly wouldn't be working with your 'stolen' art!

And why are you SURprised Blindbeard hasn't commented to YOUR Written words??? Do you get that she is blind, hence clueless that you've actually written sumthing about her, much less actually SEEN your CRAP award??

However, IF she could see I'm sure she'd show her pleasure by squating and marking her award with pee while chanting, "IT's mine, this award is all MINE!"

Jen said...

Hi Braincheese---

I'm writing at a website I'm developing for people looking for MS information, bios, books, medication news, healthy (easy) recipes, etc, and I started coming to the blogs because they are so engaging.

I keep seeing hilarious posts by you on people's comment pages, and some of your posts have what looks like a picture of a shrunken head with spikey hair. It makes me almost pee myself (maybe not a difficult task.)

Anyway, I take forever to read people's blogs and I have to say that I've not yet tackled yours because I know I'd never get off the damned computer if I did! This is by far the funniest blog I've seen (at a mere glance from the homepage and most recent posts...)

I hope you don't mind if I put a link to your blog, because I'm trying to compile a good mix of inspiring, genuine, informative, and funny blogs for internet searchers/ MS newbies to find and read.

I hope to get a chance to read more of this blog in the near future, once the summer heat dies down and my computer stops overheating every half hour.


Peace out--- you rock!

Weeble Girl said...

Thanks for the explanation; now I need to get me some of those programs you mentioned.

Or, maybe you could begin a whole other side job making graphics for other poor blogger morons like myself. Could be rather lucrative!

I think I will try to add more graphics to my blog now that I have just, since yesterday, added my own picture on a post for the first time ever and it actually worked.

I liked the Monk angle.

hutterchik said...

umm Hutterites think all technology is evil? You must know other Hutterites than I do. LoL and I am a Hutterite!!!

Love your images. They're ways awesomer.

Denver Refashionista said...

Thanks for all the info. I have long wondered how you get all the great graphics. Perhaps I'll give it a try.

Miss Chris said...

I wish I was more computer savvy...

Anonymous said...

I was actually thinking your twisted twin sister (hey is that a rock group??), would be at the microphone screeching "You like really, really like me!!"

Muah!! BUT on the other hand, she might not be twisted at all...but screeching those words none the less!

Hey, I've blog, that is...and I'm stuck on transferring my previous pages from Typepad....but anyway....

I MISS READING YOU, TALKING TO YOU, and all that goes with having a friend named BRAIN CHEESE.

That being said, since we're on the topic of pictures..check out my latest post, picture link included...and give me your self-diagnosing nurse's point of view.

Inquiring they say...



Thanks for giving us all some ideas.

Now, I know that Google is great. But it takes FOREVER to find the perfect least for me. LOL.