Tuesday, September 04, 2007

After ALL That!...

Most people would probably be ecstatic not having to testify in court...I, on the other hand, get really irked when I have to set an alarm for Dawn's Crack, stumble blindly into a shower, dress in my "best" court clothes, make phone calls, ride a bus, stand around in court for over an hour, and then NOT TESTIFY!!! It's just a beauch to put your A GAME on and then not be able to use it...

But that's exactly what happened this morning. All of the above. And now, I have returned home to get ready for 9 1/2 hours of work at my office...life is sooooo unfair sometimes. LOL


I "bitch" about this day, but the fact of the matter is, it IS just part of my job (for which, I often indignantly declare I am not PAID enough to do!). And on the heels of Labor Day, I feel very fortunate to HAVE a job and still be able to perform the functions of my duty. After reading many of your comments on the Labor Day post, I can only remark, "But for the grace of God AND MS, go I".


So often, our work or our profession becomes such a large part of our identity. Let's face it...how many times have you been asked at a party, "What do YOU do for a living?" or "And where do YOU work?" It is assumed it is the American way to be gainfully employed. Stay at home mothers/fathers sometimes cringe at having to answer those questions with, "I'm a stay-at-home mom/dad", as if THAT role is somehow demeaning or less than the role of a 9 to 5-er. And although I've yet to answer, "I have MS and I'm on disability", I can only imagine there might be some reservations giving this response, too.


I tend to CRINGE most of the time whenever I am asked what I do for a living...it's just NOT a typical job. I often resort to out-and-out lying about what I do for a living in certain crowds...particularly airplanes where I may be trapped with a "talker" in the seat next to me for three or four hours! LOL If I tell people I'm a "nurse" or "I work in mental health" or, God forbid, actually EXPLAIN what I do for a living, there's always SOMEONE who wants to tell me a story about the mental health of their mother/brother/sister/husband/aunt/grandma/dog. And the cold, hard reality is, when I'm not "on the clock", I really don't care...I have a life of my own and I'm not PAID to care or give advice outside of my workplace. Yes, I know...cruel beauch!


When I lived in Houston, TX, I had a great "work lie"...you see, Anheuser-Bush bottling company is located there. You know...the makers of Budweiser? I used to tell people (and with a straight face, too!), "I work for Anheuser-Bush in their quality assurance department". And when or IF someone was bold enough to inquire further as to my function in the QA department, like asking, "And what do you DO there?", I would calmly reply, "I taste a lot of beer". This would usually end all further questions/comments...most people don't have a lot of interest in beer! Or, they were mortified at the prospect I might be a drunk...LOL


I've never really devised a great "work lie" here in Seattle...can't use Microsoft because EVERYBODY wants to know about Bill Gates or computers...can't use GOOGLE for the same reason. LOL I'm sort of limited for a mundane job/business here with all the millionaires and technology companies. Somebody will know someone or something about any business I want to pretend to work for.


So, why not ask the CHEESE readers to collude with me?!? Can y'all think of a business here or profession I could "pretend" (LIE!) to work for that's as good as my Anheuser-Bush cover? Oh, I have such faith in you...LOL...

8 comments:

Steve said...

Well, I usually tell people that I'm a bunghole puller at the Chateau St. Michelle winery.

How about a service representative at the Starbuck's 800 number? That's very generic. Or you could be a product tester for Amazon.com? If someone asks for details, you could tell them you're in the kitchen linen department, and cotton really does absorb more water than any synthetic blend. I'm sure that, as soon as you begin talking about absorbancy, the conversation will steer away from your livelihood. :)

Bubbie said...

For many years I worked for the circus...THE circus, 3 rings and all. When I told those who asked, they never believed me. Could be because I don't look like someone who could fly trapeze or pull off wearing any costume w/ fishnets. If they enquired further I'd say I was a human canonball.

mdmhvonpa said...

That pic makes me think ...

"I'm crushing your head!!"

a-la Boys in the Hall.

Sara said...

well you can always say you do biomedical research at the uni of washington (it's always a conversation stopper for me) and when they ask you can talk about MS, since you do know about it :)

Anonymous said...

Tell people you're an office manager for an insurance company and watch the room clear.
R.

Philip. said...

I tell people I am a tester for pgo sticks :-)

Sara said...

almost forgot to tell you a mate of mine is moving up to work at the uni of edinburgh (in scotland) to do ms research, how cool is that?!?!?!?

Have myelin? said...

Tell them you are a guinea pig for new MS medications.