Friday, June 19, 2009

MS Dumb, Or Is It Just Me?...

The BUBBIE always cheers me up...even when I'm sailing off the end of the earth.

Today she shared with me one of HER MS (or not? Jury is still out on her personal disease brand) Moments, which caused me to laugh heartily. It was silly and just one of those things only another person struggling with MS or memory issues/cognitive issues could appreciate.

And then, I remembered one of MY favorite MS Moments...something I could only share with y'all because YOU can laugh/relate.

I generally drive to work because of the strange hours I keep...but on occasion, if working the dreaded daylight hours, I do take a Metro bus into downtown (which is an entirely DIFFERENT experience and packed with its own stories due to the wonderful selection of *bus people* I encounter). One must remember: I am not fond of day time hours. I am not fond of waking to an alarm. I am not fond of bright sun when I rise out of the hut to stretch my bat wings. such work morning, I was running late for my bus (as is typical when trying to ready myself for work with my eyes closed), so I was forced to jump in my trusty horse and buggy and drive to work. I completed my nearly 10 hour day and walked outside the building to head to my bus stop. It had been a particularly *stress-filled* day, so I wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders...not to mention, I had just worked a DAY SHIFT (ewwww...). I was running behind at the end of my day as well, so I made a mad, gimpy dash to my local bus stop just in time to hop inside a Metro before the doors closed and crimped my fat arse between the glass. I was happy the day was over and rode in don't-make-eye-contact peace the few miles to my home.

When I arrived home however, I was filled with a sudden panic: My car was missing from the driveway! I immediately assumed it had been stolen because this is where my mind goes. My mind doesn't say to me, "Hey you, knucklehead! Nobody would WANT your car because it's old lady wheels...where'd ya park it?" No, my mind says, "Oh freakin' CRAP! Somebody's done swiped your wheels!!!"

It took me several minutes before I remembered I had driven my horse and buggy to work...and left it there...but not before I had pre-dialed 911 on my cell phone and was just about to press send!

By the time I was able to catch another bus BACK downtown (because they cease running frequently after the commuters have returned home) and retrieve my vehicle, I was in hysterical laughter. It's times like these, all there is LEFT to do is cackle at one's self.

So, in my words to Bubbie:

Regular travel time from work to home = 15 minutes
Forgetting your car is parked at work = 1 hour by bus/return
Being a dumba$$ = PRICELESS

And, now that I've shown you me YOURS? What's your favorite, personal MS Moment/DumbA$$ story??? The mic is open...


Bubbie said...

Ok. I'll share with the rest of the gang. Between my story and Cheese's I'm still laughing.
We have a manual garage door. the old electronic with the clicker died years ago. Anyway, I have been paranoid lately (another drug or symptom) and Hubby has taken to manually locking the garage door from the inside leaving me safe and secure at night and during the day until I venture out. Well I drive Dad's old car, the land yatch, and barely have room to squeeze past it to get to the door mechanism to unlatch it. I flipped the lever and instead of the spring releasing it's lock, I found the silly lever flaccid. Nothing happened, nada. I studied it for awhile, and finally returned into the house deciding I was house bound and really didn't want to go run errands anyway. Then I started thinking...dangerous. It's late in the afternoon. What if it needs an expensive fix from a garage door guy?I should call Hubby at work and tell him. Maybe he'd like an excuse to come home early and handle it.
I left a message for him to call home. He did, and I told him the scenario. He listened quietly and then asked," Did you try lifting the door? I didn't lock it last night."
Emotional incontinence took over and I had to hang up. I laughed for a very long time. Never did make my errands. I kept thinking of the old reruns I watched as a kid with my grandparents of the Burns and Allen Show. "Say Goodnight Gracie." "Goodnight Gracie."

Kelli said...

What funny dumbA$$ moments to share. I know I have had many of these but at the moment I can't think of a real good one. I will though. Great post! Started my day with a laugh. Thanks.

PedestrianCrossing-Colleen said...

Mine all involve steroids. Does that count??? Or should you start a separate thread for that?

Denver Refashionista said...

Ok, no great stories but I have been very forgetful lately. I think it is relaxation rather than MS but here is the latest.

I left the house to go teach yoga and left my back door wide open and unlocked. Then, I left my iPOD at yoga. Today, when I returned to get it, I forgot my phone and my purse at home. I am a little spaced out it seems.

Webster said...

Lately, I have been leaving the keys in the ignition. I never lock the car, figuring no one would steal such a piece of crap anyway. BUT leaving the keys too? That's really an invitation to take it.
That's my bit of DumbA$$ery.

Have Myelin? said...

Mine is when my daughter said she liked Miso Soup at her birthday party and I misunderstood and thought she said "Me so horny" and I was so startled she had *ahem* announced that to all our guests.

It took me a good while to figure out why everyone was laughing so hard as I *fussed*.... I don't how where I got from "Miso Soup" to "Me so Horny".

Lipreading ain't perfect, ya know.

PedestrianCrossing-Colleen said...

That dunce cap reminds me...I'm am SURE my first grade teacher (a teacher from Hell) used one of those on kids when they had to stand or sit in the corner. God, I'd repressed THAT memory!

Julie said...

My favorite one is when I woke up and knew my task for the day was a major grocery shopping trip. Our refrigerator and pantry were woefully empty and with two teenagers in the house, that was not good!
So I got a pad and pen and wrote out a list, knowing that if I didn't write it down, I would forget all the important items. Then, showered, dressed and list in hand, I realized that I should doublecheck the refrigerator to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. When I opened the door, I was amazed! It was fully stocked with everything we needed! The first thing that crossed my mind was that my husband had rescued me from the dreaded grocery shopping chore. Knowing him, I knew I'd better doublecheck that he didn't forget anything. I looked over the items... and then it slowly dawned on me. I had gotten all these items the day before, when I had gone shopping.
I stood there confused for a moment. It was sort of like a different me had gone shopping because it was such a hazy memory. That was a very weird feeling.
This isn't the first time I've almost repeated something because I forgot that I already did it, but I'm surprised it was so difficult for the memory to come back.

Gerry said...

You told this story so well, and I have a similar one even though I don't have MS. I looked out, saw that my orange VW was missing, so I did call the police and reported it stolen and then I called my sister to tell her and remembered I had met her at her office where she worked as a nurse, and we went together somewhere and she dropped me off home. But my aunt walked home a mile and a half forgetting she drove her car to work after it was repaired. We thought it was our absentminded gene, since my aunt did things like that all the time, and we nieces tried hard not to emulate her. Got a laugh out of this one though. Heck when my mother developed Alzheimer's I never laughed more at her in my life. Some of the stuff she said was hilarious. And she was not known as funny. A bright side? Gerry

Kelli said...

Ok, here is the most dumbass moment according to my husband. I am one of the lucky people plagued with irritable bowel. Urgency means just that. We were out, I knew I needed a restroom ASAP. Hubby dropped me off in front of Wal-Mart and I made it as quickly as I could to the restroom in the front of the store. As I walked in I thought to myself "they have redecorated." I had more important business to deal with at the time. I did notice it didn't seem as clean as usual. I made it to my stall and while sitting on the toilet I noticed some very large feet in the stall next to me. Men like shoes were on those feet. Panic set in. Oh my God I am in the men's restroom, no wonder it looked different. I haven't figured out how to make myself invisible so my next worry was exiting without being noticed. Did I just run out like most people would? Oh no, I washed my hands like a good girl and then exited. I didn't meet anyone going in or out but the bench across from the restroom had 3 little ladies sitting there who gave me the strangest of looks. I then turn to go find my husband who is just feet away standing with the cart and laughing like you can imagine. When you gotta go....