I've been cursing a lot of things today, but my biggest offense (the struck down by lightening kind) has been to curse whatever great Power is out there that thought sending me a care package of Multiple Sclerosis would somehow be funny...or, worse yet, a "growth" experience. Yes, God, Jehovah, Ali, Buddha, Moses, Baby Jesus...whatever your name is...I'm talking to YOU! And I'm letting You know now...I'm putting You on notice. I'm not happy with your *package* or your grand plan and I'd like to file a complaint...maybe even a union grievance. As a matter of fact, I'm considering just leaving this mess here and taking a break...going out to lunch...I'll set my return time on the clock to WHENEVER so You'll know when to expect me back in this ethereal office You call Life.
I'm seriously in a full blown *I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE* mood. I'm pissed off...and there's nothing worse than a pissed off CHEESE (well, I suppose a pissed ON CHEESE would be worse perhaps). I tend to mumble under my breath and make up new designer swear words as I go when I'm feeling this way. I froth at the (potty) mouth like a rabid dog and small animals run for cover in fear of being eaten.
I'm seriously pissed off that I once again feel like hammered sh!+...my body hurts in ways I never dreamed imaginable. My skin on my right arm feels like if one were to touch it, the flesh would emit a poison...it hurts/burns...what's up with THAT?!? And my legs ache in my bones, as if my marrow has somehow been set on fire. The imaginative tourniquet around my chest and hips is quite possibly cutting off all blood flow to my brain right now, causing me to think unholy thoughts in my oxygen-starved grey matter. And I'm quite certain the figurative cold, steel rods in my neck would set off a metal detector at an airport.
Oh sure, I'm being dramatic here...you betcha, O' Great One (if that really IS your name?!?)...but you're pissing me off with this stuff. And I'm quite sick of people mouthing that saying, "God (Jehovah, Ali, Buddha, Moses, Baby Jesus) only gives us what we can handle" crap. That MAY be true, but why do we have to have ANYTHING like this to handle? Who's great idea was/is THAT?!? And if this is some grand practical joke, I'm through laughing. Not even smiling.
So, be forewarned...I'm going to take my lunch break...and when I return, this entire mess better be cleaned up!...