Yowsa, my right Gonad has decided to put it's vice grip of love in my lower back and hip!!! (No, it's NOT the now infamous "MS HUG"...been there, done that...and this is different.) Yes, I concede...this has now become *painful*. It's not that it DIDN'T hurt/ache before. It's just the pain has now changed to something I like a whole lot less...I had grown somewhat used to its constant presence in my kidney/mid back area. Now, my right hip feels like it is on fire internally and my low back muscles are being pinched with pliers. How's THAT for a pain description (because using the *pliers* example was far more politically correct than saying "the muscles in my lower back feel like a nipple that is being pinched and twisted")?
I was talking to one of my wise Guides last night, who asked how I was doing, and I mentioned I was not having a great day because my lower back and side ached so much...most likely from my "ALARMINGLY LARGE, PROBABLE OVARIAN CYST(s)".
A look of concern fell over her face (even though I was on the phone...I've seen this look before in person) and she asked, "Well, aren't you supposed to do something now?" She was referring to my ARNP's statement of possibly developing *pain of epic proportions* should my gonad decide to rupture or leak.
I pondered her question (albeit, only briefly, as no trips to *DoAnythingville* were scheduled on my calendar) and replied, "No, this isn't horrible...yet." And I proceeded to rationalize what *pain of epic proportions* would really FEEL like...I was pretty certain my symptom of pain was still well below that threshold. And I DO have my narcotics, after all (said with slurred speech and drooling lips).
She then told me (I'm certain with same look of concern on her face, but no web cam phone to prove it), "I'm worried about your pain tolerance and know you might not go see somebody for this until it's over the top."
Alrighty then...I KNOW what she was referring to...coming from someone who is rarely sick/in pain with anything (and has never been hospitalized, had a surgery, broken a bone, etc.), it would be hard for my friend to grasp what *pain of epic proportions* would mean. In HER mind, my pain complaint MUST be over the top...because it is new and it is THERE (yes, I DO have a friend who is remarkably healthy...BETCH). And she knows I live with pain on a daily basis from MS-related issues, so THIS pain must be of *epic proportions* if it is worse than my usual run-of-the-mill pain.
I don't think there is really anything scientifically sound in referring to a "pain tolerance"...I think it is probably wiser to refer to one's ability to withstand painful suffering as a "complain tolerance"...after all, the pain is already present or we wouldn't know we were TOLERATING it. It's just at what level of pain do some people choose to say something OUT LOUD while others don't?
It seems my friend has decided over the years of knowing me, that my lack of COMPLAINT about my daily pain was a "tolerance"...hehe...boy, do I have HER fooled! I am a purebred WIENER when it comes to pain!!!
Pain annoys and angers me...it causes me fear when it changes or is a new sensation...it makes me sulk and be sullen when it interferes with doing the things I want (or need) to do...it does NOT make me more tolerant of it the longer and more intense I FEEL pain. Actually, quite the contrary is true...I think I have become increasingly INTOLERANT of pain since my MS diagnosis...because it's just ONE more gift of MS that just keeps on giving.
What I DO try to do is spread my complaints about my pain around so as not to seem like a "whiner" (or Wiener Whiner, which is worse)...we all HATE whiners, now don't we? It's a matter of survival. I NEED my friends to survive...and I fear my constant complaints about my aches and pains WILL eventually drive them away (or to the alcohol bottle, which eventually will mean they love and spend more time with the sauce than ME!). I have *X* friend who I schedule in to complain about my pain on Monday, *Y* friend, who gets the brunt of my painful verbiage on Tuesday, and *Z* friend who is bombarded with my troubles and woes on Wednesday, and so on. (Stop checking your calendars, dear friends...YOUR day will come!)
OK, maybe I don't REALLY have my friends scheduled to bear the weight of my complaints on any give day (or DO I?!?), but you get the picture. And much of my pain/condition/aches, I HAVE grown used to or accepted...it's not that the pain is gone, it's just I know complaining about it (after all these years of daily assault) ISN'T going to make it go away...so why waste my precious energy of flapping my lips and betching? I've simply developed a COMPLAIN TOLERANCE.
I think if ANYONE has a high *pain tolerance*, it is most likely my friends who listen to my redundant complaints and always act like it is the first time they've heard the information (and the Grammy nomination goes to?)...I'm quite certain being friends with me causes spasms in their "necks" and "arses" on a fairly regular basis! Now THAT is a *pain tolerance* to praise...LOL...