I Shoulda Known...

It was oh, so subtle...but I should have known yesterday. When I was experiencing such heaviness and fatigue and having balance issues...I should have known then. I should have anticipated this when I was standing in my yard talking to friends that had dropped by and I kept having to shift my weight around, finally choosing to put out an arm to steady myself, then just leaning my back against a wall...because I was developing the *MS Lean*...that sensation of losing balance or falling over when standing upright (not to be confused with dizziness or vertigo...different beasts!).

Yep...should have suspected this. But now, as I lie awake at 4:30AM (before Dawn has even bothered to show her Crack), coughing and with wheezing lungs, running a mild fever, and wondering how/WHY every bug/germ on earth has recently accessed my address and moved in uninvited, I think to myself, "You should have known."

Six years with this disease they call Multiple Sclerosis and, short of flying it overhead on a banner trailing a small plane, I STILL don't seem to read my body's messages or heed it's warnings. Now, looking back upon yesterday late afternoon and evening, I probably *shoulda* gotten the message when I was having trouble standing upright without a support to lean on! And I suppose the real deal-making handshake *shoulda* been when I crawled into bed at 10:00PM because I was "just too tired" and was asleep by midnight (I'm RARELY ever in bed that early because I work vampire hours)...my lethargy of Tuesday perhaps WASN'T pure laziness.

Yeah...shoulda, coulda, woulda...but dint...

**Note from author**
Frequently, infections/fevers/viruses or other bodily illnesses will create a set of symptoms similar to that of a Multiple Sclerosis relapse. This is called a "psuedoexacerbation", i.e., once the external/internal bodily stressor is removed/eliminated, these seemingly relapse symptoms disappear as well.
**End note from author**