Thursday, January 15, 2009

Bags...And NOT Of The Tea Type...


I feel like a stranded passenger of a wayward Continental Airlines flight, stuck at a carousel, and watching strange baggage pop out of a shoot that is NOT mine!

Huh?

I'm talking about just discovering the giant-sized BAGS that have formed under my precious windows to my brain, aka, my EYES! When did this happen? And why have I not noticed this aging process before?!?

Good grief...I swear I have enough sagging skin under my lids I could make some pretty decent sized draperies out of them! WTF?!? I mean seriously...I do NOT consider myself a vain person (get real...when you have my physique and body type, it's pretty hard to sport any type of vanity and pull that attitude off without rolling on the floor laughing at yourself!). But these luggage carriers I've just discovered hanging from my bottom eye lid and balancing on my cheek bones are a bit frightening.

I really expected incontinence or dark chin hairs before I thought THIS would happen...geez...the fun of aging never ends. OK ladies (and gentlemen, because I KNOW there are a few of you male readers who can offer beauty tips!)...any suggestions short of botox or cosmetic surgery to lift these bags from under my eyes and place them back on the luggage carousel where they belong??? Anybody?? Anything? LOL...

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have bad eyesight and little patience with cosmetics so I generally have mascara schmeared somewhere near my eyes. One day I needed to put on my 'sunday go meetin' make-up, which meant a thorough face scrubbing. I could not get the mascara off the areas under my eyes no matter how hard I scrubbed. Slowly, very slowly, it occurred to me that these are the 'dark circles' people talk about under the eyes. So I looked closer and not only was the skin there dark - but it was sagging. Not enough to make drapes - but maybe enough for cafe curtains.

I dunno. A few of my friends who have nice looking faces swear by Mary Kay eye stuff. And I've read that some ladies put preparation H under there. Can you imagine?

I personally am afraid that if I fix the under-the-eye sagging it will just draw more attention to the breast sagging - at least this way the proportional distances have stayed the same!

You will want to be very careful during this time of feeling better - you will start to notice other things like this that don't matter a whit when you are in pain and/or distress. Whatever you do; do not look at your baseboards or under your refrigerator or at your backside in a three way mirror!

PennyAnn

Jen said...

I'm sporting my own dark circles and puffiness from this sinus infection/plague (which I finally broke down and got medicine for.) But I'm cabin-bound so I'll wait and see what happens.

You might want to swirl the bags around with your fingers and manipulate them until the stuff in them is relocated under your chin. Then they will be jowls.

Pedestrian Crossing said...

No good sleep goes unpunished.

Wait untill you get "the neck" too.

harkoo said...

There was a time I cared about these things--I remember putting sliced cucumbers or wet tea bags on my eyes, hoping that would suck up the puffiness. I just kept aging... Now I am reduced to asking my young niece if she will sit in my w/c and pose to be me in the photos I want to post online! lol

Shauna said...

Anonymous/Penny Ann,

I wonder if the Prep. H would work for the saggy boobs as well as the eyes?

But you're right about NOT checking under the fridge...made that mistake a month ago during a fit of energy and then had to clean the stove, the cupboards etc....

Pedestrian Crossing,
Too funny about sleep. And I've already got the neck...wonder if the Prep. H would work for that too....

Linda,
I think the dark green leafy veggies are good for the dark circles under the eyes. Eating them, that is, as opposed to putting them on your eyes...
I've been using Estee Lauder products of late for cleaning and moisturizing. See if you can't get a trial sample of the stuff for eyes.

I've been fighting the dark chin hairs for years. I could rival the Wookie if I let them grow.

S.

Denver Refashionista said...

I have no suggestions but I bet the bags are partially there because you have been sick so long. Once you get better, I bet they will be greatly diminshed.

MS. ME said...

Would you believe if I said toothpaste?? But, like the old-fashioned arm&hammer stuff our great-grandmothers used to use... It had some type of alcohol stuff my grandmother and mother used to swear by - and this was pre-cucumber remedy! Make sure and take pics if you try this though... : ]

Sara said...

send your "bags" to heathrow airport, once they get into that system they'll never come back to you, someone in thailand might get them but def not you :)

Miss Chris said...

I don't have bags but I do have dark circles under my eyes. Seems I've had then as far back as I can remember, even high school. People always ask me if I'm tired or something.

have myelin said...

hell with tips. just do it the 90210 way, find a good plastic surgeon. heck if i can go skiing, you can do this too.

*peering at self in mirror*...hum, i see a few cm's of droppiness....

Lanette said...

My grandmother to this day (she is 89) uses Vaseline for EVERYTHING...other than that I have no tips.

Sharon Hendrix said...

aaahaahaha, me too! I look in the mirror but do not see, so I am shocked when I see a photo. XLarge bags and dark circles and the skin under the chin is all I can see. Photoshop works miracles! I wasn't so vain when I was young and better looking....