Speaking Of Hacking...

No, NOT the kind in the picture! Computer hacking.

I had the most unfortunate experience of having my private email HACKED yesterday around 4:00PM. Yes, that WOULD be AOLHELL who provides my main email...thank you for asking. :-)

Within a matter of minutes, my password as well as my email account were commandeered, which I only discovered after getting a couple of those "Mailer Daemons" showing up in my in box and a "note" from AOLHELL telling me I had engaged in online activity against their User Agreements. WHAT THE A-O-HELL?!?

Needless to say, I panicked because I couldn't remember what all I had stored on AOLHELL and what the hacker/robot malware may have access to...I say "robot" because I'm pretty sure this must have occurred from a remote access site that perhaps sent me something that got downloaded as software...or not. I say "pretty sure"...I'm not that much of a computer geek to KNOW for sure.

Anyway, within a matter of minutes, my password was changed and several hundred emails got sent out from my account with one of those, "I am Mugo Prugeo of the Kenya Bank and wish for you to transfer the sum of $39,000,000.00 dollars" or something like that! You know the spam mails?!? The access/software they use also deletes your email once they have commandeered it so you NEVER know they are there...until you sign out of your account and try to sign back in. Which one cannot do because the original password has been changed!

I maintained enough dignity not to crap my pants during this ordeal AND to remember AOLHELL has phone numbers one can call and get access to someone in India who tries to tell you his name is "Steve", said with heavy Eastern Indian accent. So, I called AOLHELL. Come to find out "Steve" no longer works for them and has become a completely automated system where you can NEVER speak to a live person again! **I will miss you, "Steve"...if that really WAS your name.**

Through much confusion and slamming of my phone on the desk, I was able to finally get to a "change your password" automated feature. Because the hacker/robot did not have control of the answers to my security questions already stored with AOLHELL, I was able to change my password, thus blocking the hacker/robot access to my account. But not before receiving multiple "Mailer Daemons" (like about 175 of them!) still stored in my "recently deleted" mail file. This is where I found out just how MANY of these crappy spam emails had been sent out under my email account!!!! As many as 45 emails, all with about 50 more embedded addresses, were emailed out in my name...somewhere around 2,000 of these babies. EFFERS. But, at least I was able to quickly restore my account and remove the hacker/robot from my system. Whew...

Unfortunately, the "FUN" didn't end there. After establishing the hacker/robot was not sophisticated enough to delve into any personal files, I blew a heavy sigh of relief. But then I wondered about my bank account (which I rarely think about, even though I do a lot of online banking)? Maybe I should check this too, just to be safe?

So, I went over to my SKANKOMERICA bank website and signed in. One could have heard a pin drop had it not been for the deafening screams emoting from my mouth!

I had the sum of about $3.00 in my account...total...balance. Again, a big ol' WTF escaped my lips. I quickly scanned through all the recent transactions, only to discover they had all been made by "moi". WTH? (What the heck) "That can't be right", I thought. "Surely the bank has now made an error".

After careful review of my checking account online against my personal PAPER ledger I keep, I discovered the bills I had paid while ON STEROIDS had been OVERPAID! WTF - WTH?!?! Yes. Your's truly made a gross math error while ON STEROIDS (**note to self** Never pay bills while taking IV Solumedrol) and had managed to transfer sums on line that did not match the math done in my checkbook ledger...to the tune of about $600 miscalculated. Sigh.

I know, I know. Y'all probably think I'm some kind of money bags or something to not HAVE TO keep such close track on my funds with diligent oversight. Truth is, I just always kind of KNOW my balance in my head, subtracting as I go, and sometimes waiting until the end of the week to balance my ledger. The unfortunate mathematical miscalculation of $600.00 left me "thinking" I had far more dollars at hand than I did.

I guess I should THANK the hacker/robot who tortured me by taking command of my email account, thus propelling me to check my bank account, thus causing me to quickly respond this morning with a CASH deposit to cover the bleeding of overdrafts that were starting to occur!

Yes, thank you, Mugo Prugeo (if that really IS your name!) for your illegal and malicious attack on my email account. Had it not been for you, I might not have caught my OWN steroidally induced financial error in my tiny checking account, which "could" have resulted in me contacting you about that "sum of $39,000,000.00" you'd like to transfer into my account!!!

So, here I sit in my Tysabri infusion (the wonders of laptops and WiFi) after rushing to the bank this morning just prior to a dentist' appointment (joy of all joys), typing from Club Med (yes...sigh...still HERE for now. More to come in the blog about THAT issue!), while waiting TWO hours (not one) for my Tysabri to infuse (because there is some "thought" infusing over two hours versus one may decrease the post infusion joint pain I continue to experience), which will ultimately take THREE hours, not two, while awaiting election results.

The anxiety of all of the above may force me to cough up my OWN hairball...