Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lost And Unfound...

If anyone finds a diamond earring laying around, it's mine. Yep...as is par for my course, somehow today of all days, one of my diamond earrings leaped from my earlobe and mysteriously disappeared without leaving a forwarding address. It's quite odd, too. Because just this weekend, I was looking in my medicine cabinet (where I keep all my "single" earring collections I have created over the past 5 years) and thinking to myself, "it may be time to go buy myself a pair of nice earring posts". Little did I know this was a PREMONITION!

It's not that the earring was THAT expensive...well, actually I don't know the cost because they were a gift from a former life. But the earrings were the last tangible items that remained from my former life, having had ALL of my jewelry stolen in a home invasion in 2003. I decided after that robbery (which left me with only the jewelry I had on at the time of the burglary) that it was silly to keep any emotional attachment to things (my mother and grandmother's wedding rings, etc., were stolen as well as jewelry of my deceased sister). Somehow, however, I had managed to keep THIS set of earrings intact and one of the few sets of earrings I have worn for 5 years.

Letting go of relationships is never easy...and letting go of the THINGS that remind us of better times in those relationships is even harder. I imagine on some level, I have worn these earrings as a final thread of attachment to the memory of those relationship times. I know this, because somehow my heart "hurts" with the acceptance I'm not going to find the mate earring...it is gone. And it is time to let it go.

Perhaps I will find the courage this holiday season to buy MYSELF a nice pair of earrings...from me to me. As a sign and symbol of the relationship I have been forming with myself over the past 4 years. I think THIS pair will come with those "screw back" posts or something I can simply STAPLE to my earlobe without worry of loss again! Sounds kind of painful and bloody, but it may well be worth the physical discomfort to keep myself out of the emotional discomfort and loss I am feeling now...

7 comments:

Shauna said...

I lost one of my gold hoop earrings yesterday. I will have to take a closer look in the apartment for it but I fear it is gone....maybe off with your diamond earring. what a pair they'd make.

S.

Jen said...

Hi Linda--

I have been wearing the same small diamond studs myself for the last 8 years. They're from my husband and I had previously not worn any earrings in any of my 4 earlobe holes since I was about 20. I don't consider myself an "earring wearer", but these diamond studs probably fill a space deeper than the piercings I suppose. I only take them out for MRIs or procedures.

To this day, when I hear anything by "Blue Oyster Cult", I think of my last relationship and part of me is glad that although it didn't work out, I still have something tangible to remember the good times.

There's something to be said about giving yourself a gift: you will likely always love the giver and you can get exactly what you need.

Fondly,

Jen

have myelin said...

Letting go is never easy. The day I sold my wedding ring set for FOOD was the day I cried the most. It's just a RING for pete's sake. Yet it hurt.

I too shall buy me a "something", as a gift to myself. What it will be, I don't know.

I am sorry for your loss and emotional discomfort right now.

harkoo said...

Funny, but in a robbery 20 years ago, all my jewelry was also stolen--alot was jewelry given to me by my grandmother--by all means treat yourself to a new, nice pair of earrings--be kind to your self this time of year...it was an odd feeling the day I finally took off my diamond after my divorce, so I know how you must be feeling.

Joan said...

I've been getting rid of a lot of my old papers this week, including a pile of my "Weekly Activity Reports" from when I was an energetic employee working with international teams and managing multi-million dollar projects and saving the world. It was hard to shred all that paper and let go of the "old me." I did some amazing work but now I don't have anything left to prove it.

Letting go is hard, but for me accepting the present is even harder.

I hope you buy yourself some great earrings!!!

Webster said...

"Little did I know this was a PREMONITION!"

This is how INTUITION works, I think, not that it would have helped you in this case. Not soon enough. I am sorry you lost your diamond. And I hope you DO find the courage to buy yourself a nice new pair for the new you.

You deserve it!

Miss Chris said...

I think you should do just that and buy yourself a new present. Like you said, from you to you. However I wouldn't advise the stapling...ewww that brings back a bad memory from a medical journal I read once where this guy stapled his... never mind.