I had an interesting, albeit *disturbing* conversation with a coworker of mine today...it seems another coworker had been reading CHEESE unbeknownst to me and had taken offense to something I had written here this Spring, believing I had surely "singled them out" in a particular post ...and not in a "good/Martha Stewart" way.I found this information *interesting* in the fact I had no idea ANYONE from my work place (other than dearest Rojoo and Saint EB) even READ my ramblings in this blog (they have permission and are both often "hot topics". LOL)...AND, I found it *disturbing* that ANYONE, friend, family, coworker, or foe, would take something I write here and find personal offense.
I have said this before on CHEESE (and I'll obviously be saying it again now), WHAT I write here and the CONTENT of my writing evolves from many sources...from details of my life to generalizations about YOURS...and a whole lot more mixed up in between. When I am writing my *stories* on this blog, I am always attempting to be mindful of the potential impact my words may have on another...both positive and negative. I frequently develop posts with the intent to stir thought, controversy, common goals, feeling, and action, often blending MANY examples or experiences into one. Yes, what I write here on CHEESE remains "true", but often the detail, especially the names, and even sequencing of events are altered for effect...written in a way in which I hope many can relate in as succinct a tale as I can possibly tell in 100 words or less. LOL
What my conversation with my coworker today brought home was two-fold. First, I was reminded once again what a powerful impact words can play in another person's life. Words pluck the very fibers of our core, touching feeling that is often left undiscovered until the feeling is brought to light in the context of our written and spoken vocabulary. Words translate for the heart and can either be used as a cushion or a sword.
The second idea my conversation sparked was the notion of how we all see ourselves in the world through other's examples or words. I'm sure anyone who reads this blog has had the experience of a particular song or poem that seemed to speak volumes about ourselves. The writer or composer did NOT have you or I in his/her sights when writing the words, yet somehow we FEEL as if the song or poem was written just for us and about us...we want to BELIEVE we are somehow connected to something out there and that we are understood. This overwhelming need to connect is narcissism in it's purest form, yet it is something that remains innate within us all...we all seek to see our own reflection somewhere in the pond we call *Life*. And HOW we see ourselves remains a complex reflection of our life experiences and our innermost core beliefs we carry about each other and ourselves.
What we lend our attention to is what we see the most...I truly believe this behaviorist saying. If we are constantly angry in the world internally, we begin to only see anger in another. If we frequently feel afraid, many situations in our lives pose dangerous consequences. If we harbor ill will toward others, we only see what is unjust in the world. And we sadly often consciously and unconsciously try to avoid our true reflection because we do not LIKE what we see in Life's mirror...we do not WANT to see ourselves as vulnerable like the kitten in the picture up there...we WANT to see the *Lion* because we feel discontent or uncomfortable or small with who and what we really are.
My words are just that...mine. And my experiences remain bound to me. But just as I relate to YOUR experiences in a very personal and profoundly intimate way, I cannot discount that you may also relate to mine. You may SEE yourself reflecting back in my mirror of words...you may RECOGNIZE a trait or characteristic of your own hidden within the computer screen. And what we must ALL learn to do when this happens, is to take the experience/reflection and accept it for what it is...an opportunity to learn and to grow...
Namaste
9 comments:
Most excellent post Ms. Fromage. Couldn't have said it better myself :)
Ms. Bubbie - I had to look up 'fromage' cause my ignorant self was, well, ignorant of the reference.
So I second Bubbie's comment. You are the very best of cheeses and provide the most meaningful of mirrors for us little cheesettes to peer deep within our fragrant selves.
thank you.
Yeah-- It's so difficult to write without somehow stepping on someone's toes. Everyone has their own life experiences so something I say will chafe one person, while another goes, "Yup. Ain't that the total truth!" I guess as long as people write from the heart and speak their own truths, others will just have to grow thicker skins! And yes-- people "read" other people by what their own attitudes or situations are, whether right or wrong.
Not too much offends me anymore.
Wow Cheeze-it...I bow in awe of your sage philosphic writings (I'm serious here). Well said and right on. You have good insight to the innards of humanity.
I think we all tend to look in the mirror and see our flaws, and then turn away and forget. Perhaps your coworker saw him or herself reflected in your writings and felt behavioral GUILT? If so I'd like to suggest the reader/coworker do a self-examination, asking, "Why?" and then thinking, "perhaps a change in my attitude is necessary so I can read her blogs guilt-free?"
I feel as if I'm constantly trying to better myself and think in positive ways, yet I end up realizing I'm still living my life in anger (and this from pre-MS days). I'm trying to "let go," yet I'm still living amongst family that tends to trigger my anger... ah well, life sucks and then ya die - ha!
The wisdom of the cheese! You are spot on...but I cannot say I have gone to a blog and thought "they're talking about ME" unless my name was brought up IN A SENTENCE and it was OBVIOUS. LOL. Which rarely happens?
One can be too paranoid.
I come here for your CHEESE.
I came here because of beautiful Sherry! She spotlighted your blog!
Namaste, my dear friend, namaste!
You just said the words spot on. Your words are your words. I go through debilitating pain daily and for some odd reason, some people feel the need to trump up their imaginary pain just to be in the spotlight.
Narcissism is what it is. Sad, eh?
Always remember it is their issue, not yours.
I love your blog and you have a new follower.
Tactile smile,
Patty oXoX
Another great "Cheese" post! So true...
That was really deep and serious -- I hope you don't make a habit of it! I love your irreverant humor and willingness to talk about what others would rather sweep under the rug. Actually, it doesn't matter to me what you write about, as long as you keep on writing. It can even be disparaging to me and I will still love it.
WORDS- I agree, things that you say can dramatically affect the way people see you. I personally like to use my words as swords, and shank people with them! If audiences aren't flopping all over the ground in ceasures after I deliver a speach, then it wasn't worth giving! oh, I can still hear the cries drifting through the air after I spoke at my dad's funeral. "Yes. A great, great man. If that's what you can bring yourself to call a wife-beating meth adict. Oh hey Grandma! I didn't see you back there! Coffee later?"
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