Or at least it FEELS that way much of the time...standing alone.
As the holiday weekend draws to a close, Tuesday rapidly approaches. Here in the Northwest, kids will be returning to school tomorrow and businesses will reopen to their customers. The sun will rise again (somewhere!) as will I...and I will resume my usual weekly activities of work, rest, dealing with Multiple Sclerosis, fighting insurance battles, preparing for the tent once again for the MS150 Ride, and an assortment of other "life" duties that happen here in CHEESEWORLD.
There is no Mr. or Mrs. CHEESE to help out with household chores, to earn a living, to pay insurance premiums, to feed the cat, to mow the lawn, to buy groceries, or to scrub the toilet bowl. Only me...the Lone CHEESE.
There is no adult child or extended family nearby to drive me to appointments, to place a washcloth on my forehead when I feel ill, to bring in my mail, to wash my windows or vacuum my carpets, to prepare my meals or wash my dishes, to do my laundry. Only me...the Lone CHEESE.
There is no team of lawyers standing by, no insurance advocate, no "big guns" from a SOCIETY organization who shall remain nameless, no pharmaceutical drug program, and no investigative journalist to hand over my TYSABRI billing fight to. Only me...the Lone CHEESE.
Yes, sometimes...a LOT of the time...it feels like THIS CHEESE stands alone. That is why this blog has become such an important "tool" in my life. I read your comments and private emails (as well as swing by YOUR blogs for a cup of tea and a read) and the many well-wishes you graciously send my way. I feel a bond of sorts with each of you as we share our struggles with MS and plain ol' living in general.
I have followed Lisa of Brass & Ivory around the Blogosphere (yes, Lisa...even to HgStern!) as she has been working behind (and in front) of the scenes to solve the mystery of the high cost of Tysabri infusions. I have laughed AND wept til near hysteria reading BLINDBEARD as she lays life on the line in a twist of humor and brazen directness. I have read with anticipation the Fingolimod trials of Jeri as she (in only a way that SHE can!) walks us all through neurotic tales of FTY720, exposing us ALL to what each of us thinks at times, but are too chicken to say out loud! I have read the beautiful prose of Merelyme as she tells the secrets of the heart in a life with MS and depression. I have straightened my stance and held my head higher witnessing the many accomplishments of Shauna as she inspires me to remember what I CAN do versus what I can NOT. I have been comforted by the wisdom of Anne and her medical expertise (since I only PLAY a doctor on the Internet and she really IS a Physician's Assistant!) as well as her, "been there, done that" experience. I have been mesmerized and brought to my knees by the beautiful creations of both BUBBIE and Michelle -- artists still creating wonderful works even WITH MS gnawing at their hands and eyes. I have been entertained as if talking over the fence with a neighbor by Joan , who has a knack for taking the simple things in life and weaving them into heartfelt tales. I have watched with joy as Zee sorts out her place in the physical and financial world...keeping me laughing through pictures and tales (tails) of Rennie and faceless/nameless friends. And I must admit, I cheer every time Tricia provides reading that is far better than WATCHING the television show, "The Office"...well, and the fact she occasionally swears in her typing, too. :-) And when I need a break from all the Multiple Sclerosis talk, I turn to Penny Ann , who has an uncanny ability to make even BREAST CANCER funny...or at least HER fund raising events for that cause anyway (And stop stealing OUR MS donors, you PiNK Pigs! LMAO).
There are a HOST of other MS blogs and other blog reads (see the links at the side bar to name a few) I peruse on a regular basis and I feel somewhat guilty leaving them out up above (like Kim and Chris and Jaime and Pb and Shawna and Mdmhvonpa --what IS his real name anyway?!?). There are just too many of you to name here and there is nothing deliberate about me not mentioning your blog...I'm just too tired to continue to cut and paste links! Which brings me back to the post title...
Yes, sometimes...MOST of the time in world outside my door...this CHEESE does stand alone. But I am comforted in knowing EACH OF YOU are only a keystroke away if I choose to step outside of THIS world and enter my "other" virtual world. Inside this computer screen, we ALL stand together...