Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Lyrica...The Latest Pharmacy Melody...

My neurologist (Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named) asked me if I had heard of a drug called "LYRICA". I responded in email with a nod of "no", but told her it sounded like a great name for a rock band. She suggested I try this rather jazzy-named drug for the constant pain in my body...I told her I'd think about it.

The above conversation occurred via email approximately 3 weeks ago (don't get me started on modern technology and medicine!). My MS pain has NOT improved on the Neurontin ("Morontin", for those of us who have taken this drug and discovered the lovely dumbing side effect it has), so this week I emailed Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named and humbly begged her to deal me some "LYRICA" to try...she responded quickly and decisively as always and left me a hidden baggy of "samples" at her front desk office. I slid them under my jacket like a trained addict and went slinking out to my car with the stash (oh, if the drug companies only knew the amount of revenue they are losing on their sample program...but then again, if they can get you "hooked" on their doctor's office samples, you HAVE to buy their product!).

My sample bottles of "LYRICA" are sitting in my bathroom unopened...the warning label lists all kinds of potential side effects, so I've decided it might be best to try the "LYRICA" when I have a day off from work. After all, I wouldn't want to flap my arms like a chicken or run the risk of bursting out in song at an inopportune moment at my place of employment (those AREN'T actual side effects of "LYRICA"...I just don't want to take any chances!).

I'm also extremely apprehensive about taking a drug with such a bizarre name...not that most drugs aren't called something completely moronic. Take for instance, the sleep aids...Restoril, Sonata, Lunesta...such lulling and comforting names. Kind of makes you want to run right out and get you some of it so you can be "cradled" to sleep!

Pharmaceutical companies spend MILLIONS of dollars just on the development and marketing of their BRAND names of drugs...not the research and development of the drug itself, but the MARKETING of the product. And we the people of the United States line up in droves at our physician's offices just to get our hands on some of the "good sh*t", the "product", the "stash", which the drug companies are peddling...those cutely named products to make us feel good.

Pregabalin...would YOU buy a product called "Pregabalin"? Probably not. Pregabalin is the generic or chemical name of "LYRICA"...not nearly as sing-song a name as "LYRICA"...not nearly as "cute" a name as "LYRICA". Pregabalin doesn't inspire me to run out and write a tune or burst into song. Pregabalin doesn't comfort me. Pregabalin doesn't instill the notion all will be well if I just gulp the pill down twice a day. Pregabalin doesn't inspire "hope" my pain might be relieved if I just turn my soul over to the product.

"LYRICA"...the sound of the name "LYRICA" makes me just want to chill out, listen to some smooth jazz, and forget my pain. If I can tear myself away from Yanni, Sade, and Barry White later this week, I'll let you know the outcome...

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