Oh, the horrors! My right eyebrow has finally gone missing...sigh.
Yes, it is REALLY true...no urban myth here. My right eyebrow has finally vanished from my face, with only a few tiny hair follicles still hanging on for dear life. I happened to push my face close enough to a mirror this morning after showering (which I rarely do...gastrointestinal system just can't take the shock) and thought something looked "amiss"...my eyesight is so bad I cannot SEE my face in my bathroom mirror without my coke bottle glasses on, so it is a rare occasion I would even notice the portion of my Neanderthal head just above my eyes.
It took me a bit of squinting the vision to adjust my right 20/200 eye into focus as I moved my head back and forth inches from the mirror, but there it was...or WASN'T actually...the missing component to my once symmetrical face was my right eyebrow. It had obviously crawled off my face sometime in the past weeks and didn't even leave a forwarding address!
Not to be outdone by anyone else with too many autoimmune disorders, I was diagnosed with alopecia areata before I was ever diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. My hair stylist noticed (between a three month period of hair cuts) I had developed a "bald spot" on the right side of my head...because I've always had a fairly thick head of hair (to match my thick skull!), I personally had not noticed the shining, hairless patch of scalp...but when it was pointed out to me, I panicked. After all, even chemo cancer patients don't WANT to be bald!
I immediately made an appointment with my ARNP, thinking I must be lacking some vitamin or electrolyte or had developed a brain tumor. She took one look at my "patch" of bald and announced, "You have alopecia areata. There's not much you can do about it." I panicked further.
I was born into a genetically mutated family of true Neanderthal heads...as a matter of fact, a friend of mine jokes that I may have been the first in my family to walk up right (and I've still never forgiven you for that snide comment...you KNOW who you are!). We have big heads...not big brains, just big heads. And our skulls are bumpy and somewhat oddly shaped...must be why God gave us thick hair? To cover our ugly noggins.
Anyway, the thought of going bald and having to sport a skull that looks like the topography of Mars was unnerving...I started researching hats. But when I realized most hats look even WORSE perched upon Mt. Skull, I abandoned the approach and just came to terms with my balding head. My hair stylist and I worked out a "new doo", by parting my hair on the left side and doing a pseudo-Donald-Trump-Comb-Over to the right...hiding my brightly shining bald beacon under my coife of new hair arrangement. I soon almost forgot there was a hidden patch of pale skin just beneath the surface of a few suspiciously placed hairs. I moved on...I got over it. LOL
Until I began to notice my bald spot growing, that is. But my "bald" did not simply grow wider or expand it's circumference as one might anticipate...noooo, that would be too simple. MY bald began to expand in a straight line from the "spot" toward the front of my head...like a completely bizarre 1/2 to 1 inch wide part! And it soon jumped from my hairline above my forehead and stretched itself down into my right eyebrow! For several years, I sported only 1/2 an eyebrow over my right eye. And even this, too, I got over (frankly by this time, I had more important things to deal with like MS and a middle-aged gut!).
Today's discovery of the missing eyebrow (not even the half that once was showed any trace of ever living above my eye!) was somewhat alarming...and then, it became funny. I mean, seriously...what ELSE can one do but laugh? There's no treatment and no cure for alopecia areata and for all I know, by the time my 50's role around I COULD be entirely bald...might as well get used to the idea now...and if it DOESN'T come, then won't I feel lucky?!?
In the meantime, I'm going out to see if Lee Press On Nails also makes a Press On Eyebrow...I'd like to find one in a shape that would make my face look like it is in a constant state of "surprise". And of course, there's ALWAYS that complete kit arrangement like in the picture...