My Cat Took A Crap, And I Crapped Out...

It's been a red-letter day...Meha, the cat, otherwise known as "Devil Kitty", finally did the "2". Thank God...I was beginning to tally the vet bills in my mind pre "Do whatever you need to do to save her" conversation with her feline friend, the veterinarian! But alas, she finally let 'er rip on her own. LOL I don't tell her I'd give my left kidney to her if she needed it (now THAT would be a transplant miracle, eh?!?) for fear she will get on the Internet when I am not home and SELL my kidneys.

Aside from my cat scraping the box today, I nearly ended up IN a box today, AKA coffin! As most of you know from previous posts, I have been trying to incorporate a bit more "health" into my living. This has included shutting down the Alaskan Pipeline of caffeine I was pumping into my system, eating better meals, AND trying to exercise more. On top of those looming self "projects", I have also appointed myself chief coach and inspirational motivator for Saint EB's BIKACIDE in September...this means, encouraging her to train for her near-death-experience ride!

Saint EB and I had planned a walk in the park today...a 2.4 mile walk on flat terrain, to be exact. My last stroll through the "hood" took me an even 2 miles, so I made a plan to bump that up a notch and take the loop around one of my favorite parks with one of my favorite peeps. That is, until Saint EB called to say (in croaking voice) she had contracted an upper respiratory infection while on vacation earlier this week and did NOT feel she could make the walk...she chose BREATHING over walking with ME! Go figure...

But have no fear...another one of my "peeps", who I refer to as my "neighbor", jumped at the chance to fill in for Saint EB. It was another beautiful afternoon in Seattle, so instead of driving to the park in the late afternoon traffic, we opted to stroll the "hood" once again.

Neighbor and I USED to take relatively LONG walks together last year...before MS decided to rear it's ugly head again. We USED to walk anywhere from 2 - 5 miles at a time...note the operative word here is "USED" to. Back when I was feeling a bit more spry and spunky, we USED to wind our way through a few woodland parks and trails along Lake Washington and climb some fairly steep embankments in the name of a "good workout".

So Neighbor says to me we will just "take it slow" and maybe walk down to the lake or something. It is exactly 1/2 mile from my home to Lake Washington and going DOWN to the lake is quite easy...it's coming BACK from the lake that is a killer. But I decided to be a sport and try it anyway.

By the time we got down to the lake, I still had feeling in my legs and actually felt pretty good. So Neighbor says to me again that maybe we could just walk down to one of the parks and cut back through on the trails UP in the general direction of "home"...my completely spirited and unrealistic side agreed.

So, we took off down the shore of Lake Washington and headed through the park...I had forgotten this particular park has death cliffs in it! My legs were also forgetting they were attached to my hips at this point. But still, I climbed.

I climbed and I walked and I huffed and I puffed until the blood that used to supply my brain simply drained into my legs to try to keep me moving...all reasoning was gone and survival kicked in. I HAD to make it through the trails to get home where I could collapse on my couch!

After a long and extremely painful 3 miles, we finally returned to home in the "hood"...I was never so happy to see my deck in all my life! My legs had become rubber and my brain congealed like Jello...I gasped for air as I tried to point my shaky finger at Neighbor and bark out, "You just tried to kill me, didn't you!?!" All that could be heard was the deep wheezing in my lungs and the occasional drip of sweat leaping from my forehead as I threw myself down on my deck.

Now, after a few hours of rest and a "present" found in the cat box, I'm a bit less hostile about the walk and feeling a tad bit smug...I just made it THREE MILES through hills and valleys and trails through cliffs!!! Six months ago I could not have walked a block let alone ambulate on hills! Woohoo! I'm back...and it's a relief to feel some strength again (privately I do the "victory" dance and say, "F YOU, Multiple Sclerosis!").

Now, pardon me while I screw my legs back on and try to drag myself to bed...I hope my legs eventually thank me for my stupidity today! They are definitely "crapped out", but in a totally wonderful way...

Not Much To Tell...

Well, the news here at Lake Wobegon is pretty slim (that's a reference for all of you NPR fans...the radio station?...Garrison Keillor?...ah, forget it!).

I think my Devil Kitty, Meha, might be constipated...that's the news flash of the day. LOL She hasn't done "number 2" for about 24 hours, which is highly unusual...she's not acting any differently, however. Still attacking my feet and trying to make her break out via the screens.

You may be wondering how I KNOW D.K. has not "relieved" herself for 24 hours? Well, that's simple...she's an indoor only cat (litter box) and when she DOES hit the pan with the "2", it's like living next to Union Carbide (refinery)...practically melts the paint right off the walls!

Other than my cat not crapping, life here continues on status quo...I am off work until Friday, when I return to do another "fiver" in a row (remember: my fives are between 9 - 10 hour days!)...then, I'm off on my 6 day furlough (WooHoo!). I have plans with a coworker to make a "drug" run to Canada next week...that should be exciting...LOL

As most "Staters" know, Canada not only has CHEAPER prices on most pharmaceuticals, but many things that can't be purchased over the counter (OTC) here in the USA CAN be found OTC in the great Land O' Canada...it's just not exactly "legal" to import said pharmaceuticals. Whatever...I'm actually going along to ride shot gun and smuggle some Canadian/Cuban cigars across the thin line between the countries! LOL

I have a couple of good buddies (Rojoo, being one of them) who enjoy a good cigar every now and again...I'm "crossing over" in hopes of finding a few good Cubans to bring back for these buddies...it's the least I can do for my dear friends, who have given soooo much to me this past year of MS Relapse Hysteria. And the "least I can do" is most likely TIME in a Federal prison! Yes, I WILL do time for my friends if I have to! LOL

I mean, it's NOT like I'm a terrorist...and Fidel Castro may already be dead. Does anybody REALLY know his health status these days?!? That embargo we've got going on (for the past 40 years, is it now?) with Cuba could be lifted VERY soon and we could ALL be smoking a Cuban with no threat of prison time...but what fun is there in THAT?!? Once Cuban cigars are legal again, they'll lose their luster...

Now, I know there may still be someone out there from Canada reading this post...there used to be someone who WORKED for the Canadian "govmet" who regularly read "CHEESE" on AOL...AND, she worked in Customs! Am I setting myself up for body cavity searches and prison time with Martha Stewart by writing this?!? I think not...

"I think not", because the Canadian peeps are some of the greatest people in the world...I know this because a few of my friends are Canadian and I feel I can speak on behalf of the ENTIRE country! LOL It is only the AMERICAN side of the border that has it's panties in a wad over such "atrocities" as bringing an embargoed cigar across the wire.

Living less than 3 hours from the Canadian/American border brings many of these issues of commerce and craziness close to home...it also brings me a greater appreciation for Canadians. It also brings this blog full circle back to the original picture...since Lake Wobegon is near the Canadian border, too...in Minnesota...in MY mind...tangential? I think not...LOL...

You Asked For It...Here It Is (ADINA!)...

OK...I may have stretched the truth a tiny bit to protect the innocent! That would be to protect Saint EB's virtue. LOL

In the previous post regarding her "BIKACIDE" ride in the MS150 local charity ride in September (the one where she's riding FOR me?!?), I referred to her as a "middle-aged" woman...this stirred some controversy regarding my definition of "middle-aged". Some even pointed out the fact I, me, myself, am middle-aged. LOL

So just to be on the safe side, let me rephrase this issue regarding Saint EB's age...she is a "bit" older than me...certainly old enough to know better than to sign herself up for a NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE!!! Yet, she has gone and done it anyway...sigh...

There has also been someone with MS (I won't point any fingers here--ADINA!) who wanted to know how to donate on line to Saint EB's ride. This is a wonderfully kind offer...I must first put a disclaimer out regarding my personal fund-raising drive for Saint EB's ride/BIKACIDE, however.

Those of us WITH MS already are "donors", if you will...by chance circumstance, fate has dealt us this disease, which we will continue to manage for the rest of our lives. Several folks with MS are not as fortunate as I am...to remain employed and basically in good health. Many people with MS are on disability, which HARKOO/JOYCE has pointed out to me in the past is a "no-no" for making charitable contributions...the LAW simply won't allow it (I guess if the "govmet" is giving you money to barely live on, they feel one shouldn't frivolously throw it into someone else's charitable pot). So I would NEVER request or even imply any of you with MS should donate ANYTHING to the MS Society...the very charity organization that is supposed to be GIVING BACK to YOU. But still...ADINA asks...LOL

There are also those of you I work with (you know who YOU are!) who read BRAINCHEESE, do good deeds on a daily basis, and already donate to local and national charities. Unfortunately (and I say with tongue in cheek), you ARE employed and have the pleasure of working with ME! For this, you ARE being asked to "pay the piper"! LOL And ask anyone ELSE you know who could part with a few dollars to pledge/donate to Saint EB's ride/BIKACIDE.

So here's how to pledge/donate:

1. You can go to the local Greater Washington MS Society web page and click on the MS150 ride link. Here's their link: www.nationalmssociety.org/was

2. Once you get to the Great Washington Chapter MS150 web page, look to the left (red area) and you will see a link called "Find A Rider". Click on this and you'll be redirected to a search page.

3. Yes, you will have to type in Saint EB's real name (Elizabeth Baker) and your search will reveal two entries. Click on Saint EB's link with the "Smyelin Babes"...this is the MS150 team she is riding with. You will be directed to her personal donation page. Donations can be made as simply as a credit card here...it's so easy, you'll WANT to tell your friends/family/enemies how to part with a bit of THEIR change, too!

4. OR...you can try simply clicking this link: http://www.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=3652696&pg=personal&fr_id=2030 It may or may not redirect you to Saint EB's "home page" for donations...I'm not computer literate enough to figure out how to place the link directly in the page any other way!

And if ALL OF THE ABOVE FAILS, the MS Society isn't picky about accepting CASH or CHECK donations made out to them with the "memo" part filled in as MS150/Elizabeth Baker...it will all go to the same pot of gold anyway.

So now's your chance...Saint EB has only set a goal of raising $500.00. It's her first ride (and most likely her last as well as the end of our glorious friendship! LOL) and she may choose to do the ONE HUNDRED mile stretch versus the full ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY miles...the fact she is even choosing to ride at all (in her middle-aged-ness and everything!) nearly brings me to tears each time I think about it.

How blessed I am...to have such a wonderful person I call "friend"...to have those of you who read my blathering prose, who I also refer to as "friends"...to have Multiple Sclerosis and STILL have a job, a home, a car, and more "things" than I could ever wish for in a lifetime...to have my sight, my mobility, feeling in my hands and feet, a workable bladder, a bowel that functions, and relatively MINOR MS effects in comparison to some with this disease.

I AM truly blessed and hope to KEEP all of the above I have in my life for as long as I can WITH MS...but if you are searching for a reason to donate/pledge money toward Saint EB's ride/BIKACIDE, all you need to do is ask someone WITH MS who DOESN'T have some of the above listed gifts in their life...there is NO CURE for MS, but charitable donations can make a difference in their life/lives.

Trying To Be More "Health-ful"...

It is amazing how GOOD I feel just a couple of weeks post Novantrone...this happened after my first infusion, too. About 10-14 days following the blue dye drug, I have what I am calling my "flight into wellness" period...I get a few weeks of feeling almost as good as I did prior to being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis 4 years ago.

So I've decided while I'm having my "flight", I will try to maximize the time (because I can anticipate nothing good lasts forever...like last infusion, I base this prediction) and also support a flight into "healthfulness" as well.

I have not yet craved Mountain Dew...odd, yes I know. LOL So I simply have not had any caffeine to drink even AFTER DownSize Me ended (minus one cup of hot chocolate over the weekend, of course!). I HAVE had a malt and a bit of chocolate syrup on some ice cream since Friday...sue me.

But what I HAVE been trying to do is eat a more rounded diet (you mean chips and vending machine food ISN'T considered "rounded"?!?). I have been eating more salads, either buying them or FIXING them (yes, PEEJ...I DID fix myself a salad tonight in my OWN kitchen, thank you very much) and trying to eat more vegetables in general.

I also started walking again last week...well, actually I never gave up WALKING, but I'm talking about distance walking here. LOL Tonight, I came home from work and immediately made myself go out and stroll the "hood"...I ended up doing 2 miles of strolling (how do I know this?...because I have one of those fancy schmancy satellite pedometers, that's how!), which felt "good" initially. I have to be fairly careful in not over doing distances, lest my spastic calves begin to seize up on me and render my lower legs useless. I'm a bit stiff tonight after my walk, but I think I'll be OK in the morning with a pinch of Zanaflex for good measure. I also did a tiny hand weight work out on my floor while watching some silly sitcom...talk about a "flight" into wellness!

It seems somehow a remote memory that just 4 years ago I could walk the Seattle half marathon (13.1 miles) in under 4 hours...I wonder sometimes if I will EVER be able to do such a thing again. But with Saint EB planning to "bikacide" in my name in September, I feel I should also TRY to maximize my own physical fitness...to whatever level that might be now.

I don't have to work tomorrow, so I plan to take advantage of the non-alarm morning and try to catch up on my beauty rest also...I have years of sleep to bank before THAT will ever be fulfilled, but still I try...LOL Much like my efforts at physical "fitness", beauty rest may just be a pipe dream.

And now I'm off to dream land...

Look Out Mother Teresa!..

I know Mother Teresa is on the fast track to Sainthood...I guess that happens in the Catholic Church when someone who does good works their entire life finally dies. But in the "Church Of BRAINCHEESE", I'd have to say my friend, EB, has already reached such lofty heights (and I already call her "Saint EB" here, so this should come as no surprise).

My dear pal is currently on a brief vacation in the woods of Montana (probably eating deer and skunk as I type)...but before she left on her train ride, she announced to me her plan to ride in the local MS 150 in my honor. I was dumbfounded.

The MS 150 is just that...a one hundred and fifty mile bike ride over the course of two days. That's about 149 miles MORE than I could ever ride in my lifetime (or at least right now in this MS life!). She had talked about doing this ride, which I thought was absolutely preposterous...150 miles? I don't think I'd last 150 miles riding in a CAR these days, let alone with my fat arse seated on a bicycle and PEDALING! But she continued to voice a desire to "give it a try".


Saint EB is a few years my senior...a middle aged woman...hardly self-described as "athletic", but a very determined soul once she makes her mind up about something. Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named has a team that rides every year, so I emailed her with the idea Saint EB might want to ride with them...she replied, "This is exciting!" I only hope Saint EB continues to muster up the same "excitement" for this grueling task.


So, since Saint EB plans to try to kill herself in my "honor", I have decided the VERY LEAST I can do is become her "fund-raiser"...her very own poster child for MS. This shouldn't be hard because I already HAVE MS...squeezing pennies out of my social service working friends might be a bit more challenging, however.

I may have to come up with some kind of local prizes...I have found my Pavlovian friends salivate over the chance to "earn" food, particularly sweets. I'm thinking of some kind of silent auction at work to entice donations out of their pockets...either that, or I'm going to have to resort to simple guilt...whatever works! LOL

Now, for those of you "locals" who read BRAINCHEESE (and I KNOW who you are...my computer site stats don't lie!), I'll be posting something probably later this month on how to pledge/donate to this very worthy cause (Saint EB killing herself in my "honor") either online or in person. And don't forget...for those of you I WORK with...I know where you live, where you work, and I'm sure I have some kind of "dirt" on you that you would NOT want publicized here on BRAINCHEESE! (if auctions and guilt don't produce, I'm not above threats! LOL)

The ride is in September...warm up your check books now or spend the next 3 months trying to AVOID me...something I'm sure some of you may already be practicing without my knowledge...LOL...

Ahhhh!..

It started like this:

And ended like this:

The chocolate malt attack is over, but not forgotten! This WAS my supper tonight, I am proud to say (hey, protein, calcium, Vitamin D...what's not to love?!?)

I am now swaying on the brink of a complete sugar/carbohydrate slump...you know the kind. About an hour after indulging, the brain and body begin to shut down and tell you there's nothing else to live for? LOL

I'm going to go rest my weary bones now and contemplate the lint in my my belly button or something important like that...my sleep has been SO BAD having to work these day shifts. I need all the "down time" I can squeeze out of a 24 hour period!

But this too, shall pass...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all!

It Is Finished...

In the words of one of the greatest prophets of all time, "It is finished!" Although I think my "long-suffering" during DOWNSIZE ME should probably not be compared to a crucifixion...I suppose that's a bit sacrilege.

But it IS finished! I have made it through 28 days without caffeine (except for that one bite of chocolate cake)!!! I thought today might never come...LOL

It has NOT been easy...mostly because old habits are very hard to break. And that's really what caffeine AKA Mountain Dew has been for me...a bad habit. Guzzling the wonderful elixir became a "habit" more than a need...my graphed statistics prove that. Not only did my fatigue level DECREASE significantly, I also began to sleep a few more hours a night. I can't say there was much change in my weight (although I'll take the 3.5 pound weight loss over nothing!) and my blood pressure certainly does not seem to have been effected much at all.

The initial reason I began DOWNSIZE ME was because of recent "migraine" headaches (remember? I barely did!), which I had never experienced before in my life. My neurologist DID start me on prophylactic "migraine" medicine (Verapamil), which I've already stopped taking a full dose of anyway (because I can't be expected to remember to take pills twice a day...short term memory loss!), but I'm not sure that has had anything to do with my absence of "migraines". I STILL think I may have had some kind of weird virus (I think I wrote about my coworker's brother and mother suddenly having migraines as well? They haven't had any more either and THEY didn't even give up caffeine!)...interestingly enough, my 14 year old niece has been having a "migraine" all week as well (in Missouri) and doctors can't figure out why SHE is suddenly having a headache either.

So what does this tell me? Not a whole damn lot really. Except that my belief I NEEDED caffeine to ward off fatigue and "pep" me up on a daily basis seems to be false...I've really done better without it.

Does this mean I'm going to continue to deprive myself of ALL caffeine? Probably a big "nada" on that one, too...LOL. I imagine I'll start taking in caffeine again on a moderate basis or at least stop being soooo hyper vigilant about the issue anyway. And I'll probably start this weekend by TREATING MYSELF TO THAT CHOCOLATE MALT I'VE BEEN THREATENING TO MAKE!!!!

I appreciate "all y'all's" support and down right "hi-larry-us" comments about this issue...let's face it...if it hadn't been for the risk of PUBLIC HUMILIATION, I doubt I could have made it through this without you!

So...since this stretch of day shift (yuck) hours are kicking my butt right now, I think I'll go retire to my couch and watch a bit of bad TV with my under privileged cat...she seems to be suffering from a different kind of "attention deficit" disorder than I am used to seeing in clients!

I'll keep you posted about that malt...LOL...

Not A Minute Left...

I slept horribly (due to alarm failure phobia), showered, fed cat, dressed, took bus to work, attended staff meeting, stayed awake, participated in staff meeting, ate lunch, evaluated a patient, filed legal paperwork, made phone calls, demanded to speak to an administrator of a mental health agency, joked with coworkers, cleaned out filing cabinet, joked some more with coworkers, took bus home, fed cat, changed clothes, walked 1.7 miles (satellite digital pedometer), drove to get a salad, ate supper, watched Grey's Anatomy, talked with friend on phone, played with cat, avoided cat's claws, and now...I'm going to bed to DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN TOMORROW...

Looks like my appointment book is filled for a few days...LOL...

DOWNSIZE ME Update...

Just a quick post before I head off to bed (without any tranq's tonight since I have to get up at the crack of...you know...for a staff meeting). Tomorrow begins what is otherwise known as "hell week" as I start off the beginning of a five day stretch of DAY SHIFTS with a staff meeting as the kick off. LOL

I had every intention of going to the grocery store today and "pre-purchase" my ice cream, malt, and chocolate syrup for the "end of Downsize Me" bash I plan to have on the weekend...as I said, I HAD every intention. LOL But then the thought occurred to me, if I had these items in my home, I might not make it to the weekend...so I didn't go. I went clothes shopping instead (which is akin to having a root canal for me!).

I spent today...my one day off before working a straight 5-er (and please DO remember...I don't work a NORMAL set of hours. My days are anywhere from 9 - 10 1/2 hours long...yes, I'm whining.), completing chores around the hut, shopping for some much needed garments, repotting plants, and trying to enjoy the anomaly of something called "sun" outside in Seattle. All in all, it was a good day...and my fatigue level is sooooo much improved right now.

As you can tell by the "scientific" graph above, I HAVE been sleeping more and my fatigue level is less. Weight and blood pressure continue to remain constant, but that's OK. Who knows...once I binge on my homemade malt, I may just return to a caffeine-less diet (operative word in that sentence is "may". LOL)

I only hope this stretch of day shifts doesn't KILL me...or worse, that the days suck my will to live...LOL...

Just A Tuna Fish Sandwich...

I was stationed last night at work at our satellite office at the county/state hospital. This office has NO ventilation, is about as big as an over-sized closet, and is located just above the morgue...not exactly "prime" real estate by any means! LOL

Anyway, one of the FEW amenities about this location is the fact I am most often working there alone, being triaged out from the office to any and all emergency rooms in my county...the hospital where I am stationed is generally the busiest ER, so it works out well to have a "closet" there to throw my stuff into and have a place to sit to write my work.

The "other" amenity I have enjoyed over the past 7 years has been the deli bar in the cafeteria. Being a person of SERIOUS routine and habit (because I fear change!), I have consistently ALWAYS gone to the deli bar for my evening meal if I am still at this location when suppertime falls. The first few years of this routine were fabulous.

There used to be a heavily pierced, highly tattooed, 20ish female who worked the deli bar in the evening...she could make a killer tuna fish sandwich, one of my favorite deli sandwiches of all time and she was always pleasant and KIND. This sandwich became my "routine", along with a bag of Baked Lay's potato chips and a chocolate milk...heaven I say, purely heaven. LOL

Well, about 8 months ago, young tattoo lady disappeared...perhaps she finished her PhD in physics or something, but whatever the case, she no longer was showing up for work. She was replaced by this 50-something, woman of size, who I call "Surly Sue".

Surly Sue is...well...just that. Surly and unpleasant. But not only is she most difficult to deal with, she also RUINS MY TUNA FISH SANDWICH EVERY TIME!

Now, you are probably wondering, how could "anyone" ruin a sandwich every time it's ordered? Perhaps you are thinking I jest? But I am not...Surly Sue can take a simple order and turn it into a most unpleasant eating experience! LOL

For instance...yesterday, I ordered THE EXACT SAME SANDWICH I HAVE ASKED SURLY SUE TO MAKE FOR ME AT LEAST 20 TIMES IN THE PAST EIGHT MONTHS. It is a simple process. There are pre-printed forms where all one has to do is CIRCLE exactly what kind of bread they want, meat, cheese, veggies, etc. It's a CIRCLING process...not hard to follow and not rocket science.

Surly Sue was also in rare "critical mental state" yesterday...she was snapping at another young coworker telling the long line waiting that she "works faster than he does" (which did not and never has appeared to be the case)...I grew increasingly nervous Surly Sue was not focused enough on her work to complete each of the sandwich orders in the basket...mine was the 4th such order.

I considered simply heading into the main cafeteria and ordering a plate of "cardiac arrest"...the "regular" hospital food they serve the poor captive audience patients (I call it "cardiac arrest" food because it is so nasty it ensures the patients will return for that triple bypass procedure if they eat enough of the hospital food!)...but I couldn't do it. I decided I would take my chances with Surly Sue.

Surly Sue did NOT disappoint me once again...or maybe I should rephrase that to say, "As usual, Surly Sue could not make my sandwich as ordered". She snapped at those of us hovering around the counter and told us to "go pay" while she slaved over our orders. I did as I was told, detouring to pick up my chocolate milk...the one redeeming treat of my night.

Then, like a blow to my abdomen, I remembered DOWNSIZE ME, and begrudgingly passed the chocolate milk container and settled on a "Sprite"...curses! While I stood in line to pay (kicking myself), I imagined what HELL Surly Sue was creating on my sandwich. I also looked around for any web cams and considered the notion NONE OF YOU would be the wiser if I treated myself to that chocolate milk!!! But alas...I didn't.

I sulked my way back to the deli to hear Surly Sue chastising a few other unsuspecting patrons about how to "fill out their order sheet right". And there set my sandwich in all it's glory, resting on a plate on top of the counter. From a distance, it looked harmless enough...maybe, just maybe THIS time Surly Sue had gotten it right?

I zoomed in on my meal with hope in my heart...she'd even added the dill pickle (standard issue for any sandwich order, which she often forgets)! I could live without the chocolate milk if Surly Sue had finally, after eight months, made my simple sandwich order correctly. And by the way, all it consists of is wheat bread, tuna, Swiss cheese, and onions...nothing more, nothing less.

I casually and gleefully picked up my sandwich and chips and began my long march back through the bowels of the hospital basement toward my office...and that's when I noticed it. A yellowish "tinge" surrounded the outer rim of my bread. It was MUSTARD!!!!!!! Surly Sue had once again managed to screw up my sandwich order...I was destined for a long and arduous evening.

Now, you may be asking...why would I NOT simply return to Surly Sue and complain about this? Why would I not ask to speak to one of her superiors? Why after eight months do I continue to subject myself to this woman's rude behavior?

Well, I HAVE complained directly to Surly Sue, but this has usually resulted in a long litany of HER complaints about her job, her arthritis, etc. I gave up after about the 5th complaint...it was apparent after watching OTHER hospital staff complain also, that Surly Sue was neither going to change her ways, nor was her supervisor going to "try" to change Surly Sue...she's become an icon of sorts for the deli.

The other reason I continue to go back to Surly Sue is out of sheer boredom and the fact I fear change...I figure if I can outlast her, one day soon "someone" else will take her place, and I will be back to fine dining on my tuna fish sandwich. Yes, I dare to dream...LOL...

It's Time To Start Thinking About The Heat (Wave)...

It wasn't exactly "hot" today in Seattle by any means...but it wasn't exactly "cool" either! The temperatures in the Pacific Northwest are beginning to make their quiet climb upwards of late...so insidious, one would hardly recognize the heat of summer approaching. Except for ME. LOL

I have a very specific personal temperature range...it's called "65 degrees". Anything warmer or anything cooler just doesn't feel right in my world (yes, it IS rather a "Princess and the Pea" sort of thing!). And today, the temperature was near 70 degrees...most distressing for someone who has ONE SET of clothes I wear year round, simply layering more for colder temps and removing some for warmer (a whole OTHER issue I have about buying clothes...but I'll save that topic for another "Getting My Freak On" blog. LOL).

I arrived home tonight at 11:30PM, only to discover my home was a whopping 70 degrees inside! This caused me to resort to stripping in my living room and opening windows (seriously...this is not a "booty call" issue! It would frighten those weak at heart). I cranked on the ceiling fan I installed last spring and just lay there under the whirling blades, wondering WHAT would become of me when summer finally DOES arrive?
I shudder to think...

Now, I KNOW there are those of you who meander into BRAINCHEESE who live in the desert (ahem...Miss Chris?!?) and I really have NO room to complain compared to your yearly temperatures. But you ARE living in a desert~! I mean, that's rather expected, isn't it?!?

I seriously may have to consider getting some type of air conditioning unit installed in my bedroom this year if we are expecting another HOT summer here like last year. I'll probably get right on that just as soon as I get that nuisance "pea" removed from between my mattresses...LOL...

Oops! Did I Over Do It?..

Maybe it's just the "Monday Morning Flu"...I've been off work for the past 10 days to accommodate the post Novantrone fatigue/gastric upset/malaise and am scheduled to go back in today. But I actually LIKE my job (most days) and I am scheduled to work with one of my all-time-favorite coworkers...I'd probably go in with a severed arm and a tourniquet knowing I'd be working with her! The laughter and brevity is too good to pass up.

I went to bed "early" last night (by my standards) at midnight, thinking I could sleep nearly 9 hours (if the sleep fairies obliged) and get up for a 10:30AM therapist appointment. I had been feeling SO good the past three days, I was actually looking FORWARD to returning to work and hanging out with the people I call my extended family (coworkers). All seemed right in my tiny microcosm at the stroke of midnight.

I slept restlessly, having some bizarre dream about my parents house being bulldozed down (too weird to go into detail...and too much "personal" information to disclose!) and awoke abruptly at 4:00AM. This was not a "good thing".

I realized I had been coughing in my sleep, that my throat felt scratchy, and my head seemed congested...oops. I continued to lay in bed until around 5:30AM, when I finally decided to get up and "take something"...I felt rather miserable. And that's when I also discovered I had ONCE AGAIN forgotten to take my standard dose of daily pills ALL DAY yesterday (some vitamins, some B/P meds, some "migraine" medication, and the Wellbutrin for mental clarity)...I forgot because I WAS FEELING SO GOOD!

So, I popped the handful of horse pills down along with a handful of Advil, and headed back to my bed. I called my therapist and left a croaking message to cancel my 10:30AM appointment and somehow managed to fall back to sleep...I was worried I might have to also call my work and "cancel" my appearance today.

I finally resurfaced from my tomb around 11:00AM this morning and, although my arms and legs feel "weak" (you MSers know it's hard to describe these physical sensations!), my throat and nose have made a miraculous turn around! What the F&$*?

I'm headed for the shower shortly to try to wash the stink off (that's what my mother used to call it) and get ready to go to work, in spite of feeling this unusual "weakness" in my limbs. I have decided I "may" have over done it this weekend (because I felt SO GOOD) and been a bit lapse about my handwashing and attempts to avoid germs (remember: Novantrone lowers the blood counts and it pays to be hyper vigilant about this, rather than catching every "bug" on the block. LOL). So I've busted out the gallon jug of Purell and will return to my obsessive hand cleaning routine today.

Lesson learned: MS/body will ALWAYS trump mind...

Where DO We Find Multiple Sclerosis Information?..

I just got off the phone with a friend of a coworkers acquaintance (that Six Degrees of Separation theory MUST be real!) who was recently diagnosed with Progressive MS...He happens also to be seeing Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named (and the world closes in smaller and smaller).

I realize this post may be beginning to sound like one of those bizarre "we're all connected" commercials, but the cold and painful reality is: We're not. And maybe we should be...at least more so now than ever with the advent of the Internet.

Anyway, this poor guy is newly diagnosed and searching...searching for answers, searching for facts, searching for hope, and probably still newly diagnosed ENOUGH that he is searching for a "cure". We've all been there, done that.

I ended up putting together an email for him with just a small fraction of the various websites I have found useful over the years...and I thought to myself, "Hey self? (see Harkoo...you're not the only one who talks/thinks to themselves! LOL)...Why not post this email (with a few edited deletes for privacy sake) just in case there is someone lurking here on BRAINCHEESE (and I KNOW there are those of you who lurk and don't leave comments...but if it's serving a purpose for you, then I can die in my sleep as a contented person) who might ALSO be needing or interested in this information?" Yep, it sounded like a good idea amongst the chatter in my head! LOL

So, here it is...comments and websites:

Well, as promised, let me overwhelm you with links about Multiple Sclerosis!

This one is the link to the LOCAL Greater Washington MS Chapter: www.nationalmssociety.org/was

The National MS Society link is simply: http://www.nationalmssociety.org/

The MS Association of King County web site is: www.msakc.org/

The "Brits" also have a pretty good site called "The Multiple Sclerosis Resource Centre". There is information here about Novantrone also: www.msrc.co.uk/

The Consortium of Multiple Sclerosis Center is a more clinically based site, but has some good information (if you can medically grasp it!...I even have some trouble): www.mscare.org/cmsc You can become part of a biannual research project at this site (NARCOMS), which I participate in. The nice thing is, if you agree to fill out their surveys, they send you a quarterly magazine with all the latest research and clinical trials being offered. If interested, just click on the NARCOMS link on the left side of the page, and you'll be taken to a patient registry site.

www.neuropat.dote.hu/myelin.htm is a VERY clinically based neurology web site about demyelinating diseases, but has a section on MS and lots of clinical journal entries/links (again, a site for the medically brave).

Friends With MS is more of a "meet others with MS" web site...they have a chat room also: www.friendswithms.com/

One of my personal all-time favorite MS sites is written by this physicist (I think, or some kind of engineer) in Texas...I even have his bumper sticker in my car window! It's called Multiple Sclerosis Sucks and the link is http://www.multiplesclerosissucks.com/ His site is really worth the read, but not for the too serious in nature!

"This Is MS" is a great site run and built by people with MS...lot's of information and message boards that are useful:
This Is MS Unbiased Multiple Sclerosis Research, News, and Community

And it is sometimes important to have that MS T-shirt or design that says it all about how you feel, so here are three sites for such items...the Zazzle site is actually mine with mugs I have created!
Multiple Sclerosis T-Shirts and Gifts : CafePress.com : Shop Over 35 Million Unique Products and

Hats and Bags : Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Shop : CafePress.com and

Baitulos - Zazzle Contributor Gallery

And finally...if you are not OVERWHELMED enough by now (!)...there are hundreds of folks out there with MS that write blogs. I am one of them. My blog site is called BRAINCHEESE, and it is at http://www.brain-cheese.blogspot.com/ . I have several links of other MS blogs I read/and or follow to the left of the site...and each of these bloggers have even MORE links on their sites! One of my favorites as far as talking about MS directly and its symptoms is on Healthtalk: http://blog.healthtalk.com/multiple-sclerosis/life-with-ms/ .


So there is the "edited" version of the email. As I said, these are just the tip of a very large iceberg of web information available...but you kind of have to know where and how to begin a search to get connected with some of these sites.

I am considering posting a blog and/or doing a video for folks newly diagnosed (I know the NMSS has the corner on this "market", but I'm not sure they are doing them justice with all of their "political" restrictions) and I would like some of you old timer MSers to offer some feedback (if you can remember, that is!). I'd like to know what things were important for YOU to find out, research, topics, know when you were first diagnosed and what your questions were/are. I think this could be done with humor, yet informative and make the whole process a bit easier for these newly diagnosed, shakin' in their boots, souls.

Let me know what you think...this IS, after all, an interactive blog!...

Six More Days And I'm Busting Out The Blender To Make A Chocolate Malt!..

Oh, the monotonous saga continues...me, without caffeine for 28 days. Frankly, I believe giving up booze almost 20 years ago was easier (and it didn't hurt that a judge recommended it either)...to be young and insane again. Well, OK...to be "young" again. LOL


Honestly, I have not seen a profound difference in the above graphed areas...yes, I've lost a couple of pounds (without trying), my B/P has remained about the same, and sleep and fatigue are way too difficult to note having loaded myself up on Novantrone again mid "experiment". Mostly what I have learned from this ordeal is just what a weenie I am about self-control and habits. I seem to stomp about like a kid told "NO" in a candy store!


My fatigue has been considerably lower the past two days (again, Novantrone or NOT Novantrone? Who's to say...). So much lower today, in fact, I spent nearly 6 hours outside toiling in my yard...my body is now screaming at me as if I requested a miracle from it. But it felt good to break a sweat (and it was NOT hot outside either...naysayers!) and get some chores done that have been needing attention for quite some time.


I am one week post-Novantrone infusion now, so I will begin my hyper vigilant "cleanliness/stay away from germs" routine. For those of you not "in the know" about this drug, approximately 10-14 days post infusion, my blood counts are supposed to drop dramatically. What this means is, I become about a quart low on White Blood Cells, Red Blood Cells, and Platelets (just to name the biggies). The goal is to knock out many of my WBC's in hopes the little devils can't find their way into my brain and continue waging their MS war. The downside of this is, I become much more susceptible to infections (and there's always a DOWNSIDE to everything, isn't there?!?). I carry a jug of Purell around with me at all times and wring my hands in the goo like Lady Macbeth! ("Out you damn spots, out!"...OK, I may have lost some of you with that Shakespearean reference.)


Just about the time DOWNSIZE ME is officially over (there is a God), I will be at the peak of susceptibility for infection...I believe this will be the perfect time to get the new blender I bought out of the box (yes, EB...it's still in the trunk of my car!) and crank out a chocolate malt. I WILL be needing reinforcements...and refreshments,too...LOL...

Interest In My Eccentricities?...(Subtitled: Getting My Freak On)...

After the "Ironing the Sheets" fiasco, I began to wonder what other "oddities" do I engage in or perform on a regular basis that NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD DOES (or at least among those of you who read this trivial blog)? It dawned on me, there may be several "slight" eccentricities in my life! LOL

So, in keeping with the spirit of the Ironing of the Sheets (and I STILL believe this is a "spirited" act!), I give you a small list of just a few of the items that came to mind:

1. I regularly floss my teeth in the shower/tub (I even keep the dental floss in the enclosure!)

2. I almost always watch the news on TV with the sound OFF (unless there is something of particular interest I want to hear)

3. I ALWAYS sleep with some type of fan blowing on me at night...even in the dead of winter...AND I run my heater at the same time.

4. I do not and will not carry a purse, preferring a 10 pound book bag to lug with me everywhere I go.

5. The ONLY citrus fruit I eat is orange juice...unless you can call Starburst Fruit Chews "citrus".

6. I collect the currently minted US Quarter series...but only by "chance" in change given back to me when I purchase an item (and I AM up to date with these!).

7. If given the opportunity, I prefer to eat fudge bars with a knife by slicing off thin strips from the sides until I get down to the stick.

8. Twice a year, I clean the interior of my car...with Q-Tips (there are just cracks and places I can't reach otherwise!).

9. I have a serious phobia about entering banks...I try to do this only twice a year if possible (when I buy my niece and nephew savings bonds for birthdays) and do all of my banking either via ATM or online.

10. When saving cash at home (see #9), I will IRON it (yep there's that iron again!) before placing it in an envelope so it fits nicely without "bulking" out my envelope...a thin envelope is also easier to "hide" under mattresses or behind picture frames!

11. I absolutely refuse to vomit if at all humanly possible. I will stand outside in freezing temperatures in my underwear if I have to...the drastic temp change often wards off a good puke!

12. I have clothes in my closet from over 15 years ago (and about 50 pounds lighter) that I refuse to discard because I "might" fit into them again one day (which are probably threads now!).

13. If I find a pair of shoes that fit "perfectly", I will often buy at least two pair...in brown and black.

14. I wear a rain coat year round in Seattle if a "coat" is needed...even if temps drop below freezing...I just layer more clothes underneath to stay warm (because I HATE the way bulky coats feel).

15. I prefer Stove Top Stuffing at Thanksgiving over ANY homemade stuffing (but don't tell my friends or family who might invite me over for the big meal!).

So...how's THAT for a list? Do YOU have any eccentricities that will make mine pale in comparison? Share them in the comment section...if you DARE!

I bow my humble head...it appears I am the ONLY LIVING BEING LEFT ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET WHO IRONS THEIR SHEETS. Who knew? And this is not just a fluke or phenomenon among those of us with MS...you NON-MSer's don't iron your sheets either!

And since my friend (who I swore up and down to that EVERYONE but her ironed their sheets) will obviously read this post (and the previous mocking one), I will say, for the record here, "Dayum, was I WRONG about this!"

Now, I'm fretting over what OTHER bizarre things I routinely do in my life that are not the norm...this will, of course, become a post after I've given it some thought...LOL But for now, I'm off to crawl in my FRESH AND IRONED BED SHEETS...ah, the luxury...

Anybody ELSE Do It?...

Let me first say, I come from sturdy farm stock...and I'm proud PWT (poor white trash). Growing up, my family didn't have much in the way of "things", but what we did have, we took care of. So there's my disclaimer to the following story and subsequent question!

Now...I was on the phone this evening talking with a dear one who had called merely to check up on me and my post Novantrone infused self. She was worried because she hadn't "heard" from me and told me (and I quote), "I was afraid you might have passed out in your own puke or something" (yes, I have rather graphic speaking acquaintances).

Anywhozit...I had answered my phone and had my fancy-schmancy headset on because my hands were busy.

"What are you doing?", she asks casually and conversationally.

"I'm ironing my bedsheets", I reply back in the same casual tone. This statement was followed by near deafening laughter and guffawing.

"You're doing WHAT???", she now shrieks with laughter in the phone.

"I'm ironing my bedsheets", I repeat again, but this time with a bit of defensiveness. "I just washed my sheets and now I'm ironing them." I really DIDN'T understand her amusement or amazement by this statement.

"Nobody irons their sheets", she now says with absolute certainty. "My mother used to do that, but nobody does that anymore."

"Well, I do", I exclaim in my proudest PTW way. "I like the way they feel when I first crawl into bed...all fresh, unwrinkled, and tidy. It's like sleeping in a hotel".

She continues to laugh and poke fun at what are called my "OCD" (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) traits while I secretly plot the layout of my Internet survey to prove her wrong. So here it is:

QUESTION: Do YOU iron your bedsheets after washing them?

(Talk amongst yourselves if you must, but I'll be needing some hard core comments on this subject as "proof" one way or the other! LOL)

Who ARE you?!?...

I understand why so many of you randomly wander to BrainCheese from GOOGLE...you are searching, "Fornication Under Consent of the King", which is one of the blog titles posted (silly perv's!).

But WHO are you folks from Argentina, Mexico, Japan, China, Estonia, Italy, India, France, England (I know YOU are from the United Kingdom, Funky), Australia, Canada, Ireland, Poland, Brazil, and a few other countries I simply can't recall at the moment? There are certainly a lot of you coming to "Cheese" from other countries and NOT all of you are googling "Peeps" or "Fornication Under Consent of the King"! LOL So, I ask, how'd you get here?

ADDENDUM: (And just for clarity sake, I'm talking about those of you who show up on my blog stats as recent page loads on BrainCheese! And already today, I have to add Spain and New Zealand. Sorry, Adina...I should have been clearer...LOL)

Just wondering...

Only 9 Caffeine-less Days...Gawd, I Miss Chocolate!..

Yup...that's right...nine more days before I find myself buying cheap chocolate bars and guzzling Mountain Dew. I wish I could say time has "flown" by, but it hasn't...and I fear this last week and 2 days may be the hardest...because I KNOW the end is near. Almost makes me want to break out in song..."And now, the end is near. And so I face the final curtain...la la, la la la la. I can't remember words, of this I'm certain"...
(**Good thing there is no volume to this blog**)

Dr. She Who Will Not Be Named...Unplugged...

In my usual banter with Dr. SWWNBN via email, she mentioned to me a local radio station here in Seattle would be interviewing her "live" from the American Academy of Neurology conference (today), where she has been hanging out (and probably mostly drunk at the bar) for the past week. I had, of course, been checking on her to make sure she was paying attention to the "important" Multiple Sclerosis research being presented (while drunk at the bar). I even forwarded my edited version of Dr. Gary Cutter's information (see previous post, "Is Science Getting Dumber") to her to make CERTAIN she knew I was aware there was some important information she would be held accountable in knowing! LOL She, in turn, made a veiled threat of quoting me during her interview on the radio.


Well, as luck would have it (or not), I happened to be up at the computer at half past 10:00 this morning and fired up the local radio station...and there she was...yacking her overly-functioning brain off! And the topic she was being interviewed about???? Drum roll please...the latest research statistics about the prevalence of MS among women versus men, i.e., "Dr. Gary Cutter's research"!!! She also spewed some other statistics about MS in the Northwest just for added effect. And the best part? The radio hosts MISPRONOUNCED her name! (Which I will forever be using their pronunciation in any subsequent greetings...)

Most of you who follow "CHEESE" know I am, for the most part, a sarcastic worshipper of my neurologist. After all, Dr. SWWNBN has led me through the "valley of the shadow of death" (come on...you know MS relapses DO feel like near death experiences sometimes!), slapping me unconscious at every hairpin turn in feeble attempts to keep me in submission. Let's face it...interactions with her are excellent fodder for blog topics.

I hear from many of you about your experiences with current and past neurologists...sometimes horrible stories of mistreatment and what I think could be considered downright medical neglect. And I realize how FORTUNATE I am to have Dr. SWWNBN watching over my care...regardless of our peculiar manner in which we communicate with each other (but SHE started it, I didn't...LOL).

This only brings home to me the utmost importance there is in FINDING a neurologist (or someone who specializes in MS) to manage your Multiple Sclerosis. Somehow I "lucked out" and found a highly-trained neurologist who is not only intelligent, but also "human" and can stand toe to toe with me without being knocked over by my strong (is that an understatement?) personality. But I DID wear out two others prior to landing in Dr. SWWNBN's office last year, I might add.

If you find yourself limited in choices because of insurance or location when choosing your MS doctor, I suggest you ask around...start by finding connections either with your local MS Society Chapter or even a local MS support group. Sometimes, it might even be worth the drive to see someone further away if their word-of-mouth reputation is excellent.

I've said it before (and I'll obviously say it again), if you're unhappy with your current neurologist or MS practitioner, move on...neurologists (and other physicians for that matter) are a dime a dozen and every year another 100 or more graduate from med. school and go into practice. Chances are, you'll have MS longer than your neurologist will practice medicine anyway! LOL Don't allow yourself to remain "in the dark" with your practitioner about YOUR MS...find someone who can effectively explain to you what you need to know in a way you can understand. They are not "God", after all, and you CAN question their judgment and reasoning...

I have also put Dr. SWWNBN to task at her conference by planting the notion she SHOULD get into the BIOGEN MS Simulator booth (yes, the drug company HAS spent a butt load of money designing a 4 minute virtual simulation of what it "feels" like to have MS!) before EVER questioning my MS symptoms again (what is normally referred to as "my whining"). I have already looked into how much it would cost me to BRIBE the booth's technician to CRANK UP the electric shock waves a few volts or two if she DOES find her way to the machine...Moohahahaha...

Listless...

It appears I have lost my sea legs today...the SS Novantrone has become listless and may be taking on water in the hull. No wait! That's just a full bladder...whew...

My day started off as they have the past 3 days...sleeping an unusual amount of hours (between 8-12...I'm generally a "between 4-8" hour sleeper) AND I didn't want to get out of bed when I did!

Today was the day I needed to venture outside the hut compound and drive a few miles to get my shoulders lowered...or in lay man's terms...a friggin' haircut. It has been nearly 3 months since I had my ever-balding "locks" shortened. I decided if I could in any way muster up the energy, I HAD to go...it was becoming a matter of life and death (you KNOW that gawd awful "flip" hair does when it reaches beyond the collar line!?!...life and death, I say).

I managed to dive into the shower right before my appointment (in hopes of leaving a "happy" scent) and trudged out to my car to take a lengthy back-roads drive to my stylist. When I'm this tired/nauseated/listless/etc., I know better than to hit the freeways with full force...for MY safety as well as others! I arrived only 5 minutes late.

Miss S (the stylist) was her usual chatty self...I was not. I tried to follow her conversations about her ex-husband, the born-again Christian girls who live upstairs, and her mother living in a sanitarium for two years with tuberculosis, but it WAS very difficult. The room was warm and all I could think about was getting back home and curling up for a nap...minus the nasty-flipping-curl from the back of my hairline. I managed a few "nuhuhs" and "really's?", feigning interest at various times. All the while my gut kept reminding me it was still unforgiving for putting it through that dayumed Novantrone again!

With my hairs snipped and minus a half day's wages, I left Miss S behind...she had already begun conversation with her next client, so the transition was quite smooth. I got in my car again with the idea of heading directly home (without passing "GO" or collecting my $200.00). And that's when a tiny voice in my head beckoned me saying, "You know you STILL need to go to the bank."

Drat. The little voice was right. But I didn't just need to find ONE bank...I needed to find TWO different banks (long story...I am constantly having to move my millions around to avoid the scrutiny of the IRS...LOL). I cut across town in a very circuitous route, hoping to spot my "home" bank and maybe have good fortune in finding the "other" branch bank nearby. No such luck.

After about 45 minutes of driving around an unfamiliar part of town, I finally decided to head back to my old neighborhood...a place where I KNOW both banks exists within blocks of each other. I gunned the car in the general direction of the old "hood", having to go several MILES out of my way. This was now approaching 2 1/2 hours since I left my home.

I hit the "other" bank first, then drove to my regular bank (remind me sometime to tell you about the phobia I have of going IN banks!), only to discover I had left a very important piece of paper at home!

"Fine", I thought. "There's a branch bank nearby my current residence. I'll just drive home, get the paper, and make it there before they close". Sounded simple enough.

I have no earthly idea at this point WHY traffic became a scene of miles of stopped car tops along my back-road escape route...but it was. The traffic jam was at least a mile long on the surface street. All I could do was try to stay awake and inch my way past the University of Washington in hopes of one day seeing the familiar sight of crack addicts hanging out at the bus stop in my neighborhood...45 minutes later, I nearly cried at the sight of seeing Dirty Mary (I have no idea what her real name is) trying to panhandle from unsuspecting bus travelers as they tried to get home from their day's work. I was, fortunately, too tired to get out of the car to kiss her cheek!

Once home inside the hut, I immediately scrapped the idea of "going out there" again and collapsed on my sofa...it is where I have been ever since, minus getting up to eat a salad and urinate twice.

And, once I complete this totally monotonous and trivial blog entry, my plan is to return there...just me, my cat, the sofa, and prime time TV...ahhh... the "joys" of the post Novantrone infusion...

Check Out Funky Mango's Blog (link is on the left)...

Today is a day of "thievery" for me...I am stealing the above picture from Funky Mango's blog because I think it is quite worthy of theft! Funky is one of several bloggers who are posting today, May 1st, on "Blogging against Disablism"...I just read her post. It is quite thoughtful and important.

I am NOT in a wheelchair myself, nor am I currently needing an assistive device to walk. I have no braces, slings, paralysis, or any other outward and noticeable "sign" I have Multiple Sclerosis. But for the grace of God, go I...

But for today, I want to "honor" my brothers and sisters who DO NOT have the same means of mobility and independence I currently have...and I "honor" them with theft. LOL I've stolen a poem from another site (if jailed for this offense, I DO hope you all will continue to visit my blog...although the postings may fall between shower time and court dates!). I like this poet's writing...Google her for her website:

IN THE WAY

by Laura Hershey

Could you move, the waitress says,
politely of course,
you're in the way.
A common request, my trusted wheelchair just
an impediment, an obstacle to the busy,
a clumsy roadblock I haul with me down every road
and when parked
an interruption
or at least a slowing down
of the life I only
wish to be part of; a piece of surplus furniture
in the already crowded rooms
of restaurants, bars, theaters.

Usually
I accommodate,
backing into corners
turning sideways
angling my wheels
to leave a clear path
asking, politely of course,
Is that better?

I get in the way
without trying.
I apologize
excuse myself
and move out of the way.

But not today.
Today I listen
to a small, recalcitrant voice inside
that insists:
Such power
should not be wasted.

If I alone can be so much
and so often in the way,
if I can create such worry among waitpersons
such consternation in concert halls
such alarm in the aisles
of grocery stores
just imagine the aggravation a dozen
or two dozen
or three hundred
people using wheelchairs can cause people
who would rather not see our needs
or hear our demands
or acknowledge our rights!
Just imagine!

Better yet, see me now!
See me block this doorway, plant my wheels firm,
see me lock my brakes!
No, I tell some bureaucrat
who wants to get into his office
so he can make decisions about my future.
No, I will not turn
I will not move over
I will not get out of your way
not until the police order me to, under threat of arrest
and maybe not even then!

In the way
in the way all day,
I woman this barricade which is mine
whenever I need it,
this roadblock I haul with me down every road,
this wall I can construct at will,
and be happily in the way with,
and say no with,
and plaster with scrawled signs about freedom,
and add to the bigger walls growing
around whole buildings, around whole city blocks.
I can turn back
customers, employees, delivery people, even cops.
I can keep the usually powerful
in or out of their offices.

I can be in the way
in the way
I can be in the way
my way.