In a mood...hard to explain. Perhaps it has been the constant pain in my arm, legs, and trunk casting shadows in my psyche today? Whatever the cause, I have had a rather melancholy earworm running through my brain much of the afternoon and evening...it's really a beautiful song by singer/song writer, Ann Reed, of Minnesota.
Somehow the lyrics feel quite true for MS and my life these days...I really AM not here like I used to be...give a listen:
(Written lyrics for you, Have Myelin)
USED TO BE
by Ann Reed
I'm really in it this time for the count
I'm feelin' beat into the ground
You say, "You're just not here like you used to be.
You're not here for me like you used to be."
You're right, you know, I'm just not around
If I can run fast enough I'll be free
The pain will only find me in my dreams
But I'm not as fleet of foot as I used to be
Don't believe I could be what I used to be
Giving 'til there's nothing left to me
Pain has a way of clearing through
What you don't need and what's of use
Losing what I thought was a part of me
Tears through the soul and the heart of me
No apologies, no excuse
I'll make it I know I'll be fine
Just a lingering sadness left inside
I'm just not here like I used to be
I'm no where near what I used to be
And that'll stay with me a while.
I'm not here like I used to be
I'm no where near what I used to be
And that'll stay that way a while
What a sad song! It is too true about so many things in my life.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this lovely song. It is so perfect for Mser's and so many others who suffer with chronic illness/chronic pain.
ReplyDelete"I'm not here like I used to be"
For Linda (and Blindbeard, too..)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLI5mRFno7g&feature=related
This is also true for me at times. I am not who I used to be even when I feel good and prolonged pain makes it even harder to remember the old us. I hope the pain passes but that whatever comes of the changes in your life it is good in the end.
ReplyDeleteYou made me cry, Du. Damn you. I think today was a crying kind of day.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful song. Thanks for the lyrics. :-}