This is a test of the Emergency BrainCheese System. The BrainCheese broadcaster of your area in voluntary cooperation with the MS Society and other authorities have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of an emergency.

REMEMBER, THIS IS ONLY A TEST.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

If this had been an actual emergency, the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news, instructions, gossip, or lies.

This concludes this test of the Emergency BrainCheese System. And now we will return you to your regular programming...at some point...