Odds And Ends...

Yes, today my precious-es is going to be like peering down into the junk draw of the CHEESE brain...an assortment of disjointed and completely unrelated pieces of *stuff* that I have been meaning to address, but keep forgetting! I blame this on my recent fast (see previous post called "Time Out") as reason I can't string three words coherently in a sentence right now! Seriously...how DOES one survive without the proper nutrients? Which, of course I am referring to caffeine, sugar, meat, lard, bread, and chocolate!!! My 6 food groups...sigh.

So, speaking of my fast...it went well, and my post vegetable detox is going...ah...well, going! I've had NONE of my typical bad habits (yes, that's right...went cold turkey off them all *grumble, grumble*) since Tuesday and, even then, was already trying to cut back/cut out several things to avoid going into complete metabolic SHOCK. Of course I have the usual headache from withdrawal of EVERYTHING and I'm doggoned tired without my caffeine and other stimulants. But otherwise, OK.

I spent the 24 hours from midnight Tuesday to midnight Wednesday without the use of anything electric (Internet withdrawal can KILL you!) and sat in silent darkness, reading only by the light of an oil hurricane lamp. Saint EB had loaned me a book many months ago, which has turned out to be a fabulous read: "Tallgrass". I'm a few, short pages from finish. (One day, I WILL return your book in my *unsaintly* manner, Saint EB.) First time in years I've sat most of a day reading anything besides the Internet! It was relaxing...minus the mental intrusions relating to FOOD and other unwanted but "necessary" thoughts about myself.

Things I learned this fasting/meditation period:

1. It begins to get dark in Seattle at 4:15PM and is near pitch black by 5:30PM! How have I missed this?!?


2. There is a plethora of sounds outside in the city when not distracted by electronic equipment...traffic, buses, planes, locomotive whistles, neighbors. I never knew how much sound carries when I am surrounding myself in silence.


3. My feelings are much more easily "hurt" than what I let on.


4. In Darwinian Law of *Survival Of The Fittest*, when one is not "fit", they will do anything to "survive".


5. I do not like to feel vulnerable or afraid or unworthy.


6. Many of the things I do (bad habits, eating, etc.) I do to avoid boredom OR the anxiety that comes from doing nothing and having to listen to my own thoughts.


7. There is someone in my life right now who I harbor much animosity toward, which is counterproductive because anger/resentment is EXACTLY what this person strives to create unconsciously. It is called "Borderline Personality"...the *I Hate You, Don't Leave Me* (which is the title of a perfect book to understand BPD) this person operates from, and I am only perpetuating the dysfunction with my reaction.

Those aren't exactly Stephen Covey's, "Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People", but they ARE seven insights learned from deprivation and spiritual focus/meditation! LOL

*About Me*, a fellow MS Blogger over at, Rooms With A View, sent me a comment several days ago asking if it was OK to link CHEESE to her blog. And now, SEVERAL DAYS later, I have finally added her blog to the list of possible drinks over there in the left hand bar! The Short Bus is getting crowded, folks...could we please find a CURE for this dreaded disease called, Multiple Sclerosis?!?!

A Dani Sevilla, from Survivor Corps.org , has frequently (OK, actually twice now) sent me a personal email requesting I write a post about specific topics related to the Survivor Corps mission. I receive personal emails from MANY groups with similar requests and, unless I can somehow RELATE their topic/concern to Multiple Sclerosis, Chronic Disease, Disability, or Mental Health, I don't write about about them or post their links on CHEESE. I often wonder if I am being sent the emails simply because a webcrawler has picked up my email address from my Blogger profile, but the person SENDING the email to me has never read CHEESE. It makes sense this might be the case, given some of the topics I have been asked to write about. And, because the possibility exists I am only being "cut -n- pasted" into a standard form email, I ALSO have a form email response I REPLY to these requests. It basically says, "thanks, sorry about x-y-z and I'm sure it's a worthy cause and/or problem, but I can't relate it to MS"...I'm just *nice* like that. LOL

SOOOO...Dani, if you are reading this actual POST, I apologize for not writing a post about your issue...again. You've asked me to send you an email with a link to my post, but instead I'm POSTING my response to your email here. Nuff said.

A couple of you have commented or sent me a private email asking permission to either copy or link my post called, "The Most Difficult Letter I May Ever Write" , back in October of this year. Of COURSE you can! Especially since it was written for you (and me). I am always flattered (in an "I need attention" sort of way) when ANYONE finds comfort, humor, solace, challenge, etc., in ANYTHING I write. I make no money whatsoever on this blog (but I seem to WASTE a lot on it in the form of TIME!), and I am not so grandiose as to think whatever I write here hasn't already been said by someone else in a different way. It's only plagiarism if you tell people YOU wrote it...and since plagiarism ETHICS only apply to *real* writers or journalists, I think you're pretty safe to copy or cut -n- paste any line o' crap you read here! LOL

Which leads me to a quote from Blindbeard in a recent post she wrote, which I left comment, then she left an "update" apologizing for possibly offending me. Mkay...it takes a GREAT deal to offend me, which I certainly was NOT. The original quote had something to do with me possibly inferring I had hoped my recent bout of MS symptoms was PML versus a relapse, because I would rather die from PML (or something like that? now I'm probably MISQUOTING the quote from Blindbeard!).

Dearest Blindbeard: There is pretty much NOTHING you could say to which I could EVER take serious offense. We Sarcasm Sisters must stick together! And, if what you THOUGHT I meant in something you read here on CHEESE left you thinking that quote, well...then, perhaps you read something between my thin lines of sanity and stability! And I just keep coming back to READ you, don't I?!? (As proof of my loyalty and lack of offend-ed-ness) If I am ever offended by a comment left on CHEESE or a post someone might write on their blog, I simply don't return to read them...it's called like or dislike, resonate or repulse, affection or apathy...and the world/Internet is just too LARGE of a place to squabble over something as insignificant as another person's opinion. Unless, of course, it is MY opinion. Hehe...Carry on, my Satirical Sister!

OK, off to drink some more of my green tea detox and steam a few vegetables...life without Mountain Dew or meat sure seems boring...